The Little Whiles

26 sentiments shared

Aug
24

The Super Princess Series.



Just when I thought I’d gotten my breath back, Mandy from Belle & Boo has taken it away!! I tried so hard to wait a day or two to post again so that my thankyou stays at the top but I can’t help myself – I just have to share. Ava’s “Super Princess” illustrations are finished!!! They are beyond Beauty Full – Mandy has exceeded my hopes and expectations 100 times over, I just can’t put into words how special they are!

A funny thing – when I really love something, I mean reeeally adore something, I almost can’t look at it. A little like a dress that’s just too good to wear or paper that’s too pretty to write on, these perfect little pictures are so delightful to me I can barely stand to peek at them…they just have such an impact on me. I’m sneaking sideways glances so I can get used to their wonder gradually!! Some of them were done with a photo as inspiration and some were done right from scratch, which just astounds me when I see how closely they resemble Ava. Every one of them is a precious memory I hold and Mandy has just captured those moments perfectly.
Okay, I’ll try to shoosh up now but I just wanted to show them off and tell you that Mandy is selling them at her Etsy shop with 25% of the sale price being so generously donated to the Mater Hospital who cared for Ava. There are five in total – I’d love for everyone to go and see how beautiful they are.
I feel like I’m guilty of over-use of the word “thankyou” but Mandy, thankyou. You are a gift.
**edited to say there has been a stampede at Etsy so if you can’t see them, Mandy will be restocking all the time – just check back a little later..You can also just “converse” with Mandy and request them – there is no limit on prints. I will add the other three here just so they’re always on show :)

Tucked Away Under // Ava, Pretty Pretty Things

Say Something Sweet

9 sentiments shared

Aug
23

Breathing again.


Just. It’s impossible to put into words just how draining this week has been – much more than I could have imagined. What I do want to say is just how overwhelmed I am with the incredible support so many of you have shown us. We have been carried by kindness through the most difficult of days..

For every beautiful card, email, phone call, flower and gift after beautiful gift, we are so grateful. To be able to sit and unwrap the most heartfelt presents on her day meant more than I could adequately express. I wish I could say I have been able to email every single person individually to express my thanks but alas, I have not. We are still coming up for air after facing such a huge hurdle and also attending a ceremony this morning for Ava and one of her angel friends, Yasmine. It was hard but it was also a truly beautiful service and has been a little bit of healing for today.

So thankyou, 1000 thankyous, to every single beautiful soul who has kept us in their thoughts and prayers and gone out of their way to hold our hands through this week.
With so much love.
S xxxxxxx

Tucked Away Under // Ava

Say Something Sweet

62 sentiments shared

Aug
21

The Gift Of Ava

I want to remember what an amazing privelidge it is, to have been Ava’s Mummy.

She was my every wish granted.

My dream, literally, come true.

I want to reflect on the pure joy that she brought us, every single day.

To never forget the wonderful impact she has made on our family.

To truly celebrate the gift of Ava.

I’m trying, with all my heart and soul, to find peace, to be brave, as her birthday arrives.


Happy Birthday, my darling girl. Iloveyousomuch.

Tucked Away Under // Ava

Say Something Sweet

26 sentiments shared

Aug
18

Before and after.

“It is possible to live with a broken heart. But it’s hard.”
We sat there nodding hearing another grieving parent say this the other day. Of course it makes such perfect sense to us. We are still determined, every single day, to make a good, happy life for all of us…to arrive at a day where our kids say “You know, we had a great childhood”….but getting there is, on many days, so hard.

So many things have shifted since losing Ava. So many. I can’t help feeling like my whole belief system has evaporated – I had such a certainty that karma took care of everything – that I had a good life because I was a good person, that life was kind to me because I “did the right thing”.. I liked having that belief – it felt secure and right. It’s another loss for me that I now understand that no-one is keeping score. Sure, maybe when I arrive where it is that I end up, perhaps it will matter but for here and now it has become apparent that I have very little control over whether my day includes joy or tragedy. From here on when I “do the right thing”, I know it’s just because well, it’s the right thing. Nothing more, nothings less. No expectations, no balance sheet, no payback. And really, it’s such an insult to all the other good people who have had bad things happen that I held this belief in the first place. How incredibly conceited of me.
The other thing that has been on my mind a lot is just how blessed we were but we didn’t know it. We thought we did, we spoke of it very often, we just didn’t really know it. I think we are conditioned, in Western society, to perceive lucky as big house, new car, overseas holiday..and the rest. There’s nothing wrong with wanting nice things, hell -I’m guilty of having a well thumbed Tiffays catalogue by my bedside..but what I now know so completely is that richness is truly right there, no matter what car/house/boat you do or don’t own. I’m not an envious person by nature but suddenly I find myself so very jealous and wanting to tell families in supermarkets “My God..You are SOOO lucky. Do you know?” I want to tell people to get down on their knees, daily, and be so truly thankful for their full, whole, complete families. To smother their children with hugs, to tell their partners they adore them. To stop worrying about stuff that Does Not Matter. To not procrastinate, to not left words unsaid, to not assume a tomorrow. I am still blessed, I do know I have a lot to remain thankful for but when I look back, I feel so much frustration that we didn’t truly know..

Well I guess that’s enough rambling for one night…Grandad came back from 10 weeks in the UK today and the boys got up at 5am to prepare for his arrival (at 9!!)..They were beyond excited. To fill in time, of course I got the camera out.
These look like sweet family photos but in reality I was enduring constant heckling by the crowd.
The boys…

Ivish, wearing a selection of beautiful jewels sent to us from Carrie yesterday..along with some other very special things..but more about that in another post.

And here is Mason running onto the coach that dropped Grandad off – he simply could not wait any longer :) How happy do they both look?

And I love Grandad’s sheer joy at holding Ivy again.

I’m hesitating to post this pic of this little critter who was observing my picture taking in the garden today, I might scare off Laureen who’s visiting my neighbourhood from Canada next year!!

Tucked Away Under // Ava

Say Something Sweet

20 sentiments shared

Aug
11

The Luca Remix.

As I’ve often mentioned, Susannah’s CD’s make up the entire music collection in my car – I’d be lost without them and I think the boys like them as much as I do.

The other day Luca asks to hear a song by Cold War Kids – We Used To Vacation. A very sorry song, it has always saddened me listening to the tortured, desperate lyrics of a man with a drinking problem and the effects on his family. The chorus cries..

“I promised to my wife and children, I’d never touch another drink as long as I live”.

It begins playing and Luca starts to sing along….We get to said chorus and he belts out, completely seriously, this..

“I promised to my wife and children, I’d never touch another CHICKEN as long as I live”.

Oh the visions!  I never imagined I could listen to that song and laugh :p If you read my previous post about the chicken aversion, it makes perfect sense I guess!!

Different day, different CD and Susannah has included a great mash up from the Beastie Boys… It’s been a while since I listened to the Beasties and I’d forgotten about some of the more choice lyrics….”Living at home is such a drag. My Mum threw away my best porno mag“. Mason pops up and says “Mum, mum, what did he say? What did his Mum throw out?” I try to ignore for a while but he’s not letting it go – I’m desperately trying to think up a suitable response when, to my horror, Luca says “I’ll tell him Mum”. Before I can intervene, Luca explains “My Mum threw away my best orn-a-ment”. Great!!! That works. I can just imagine Adrock, totally devestated to find his best Lladro figurine in the trash… !!

I love getting these glimpses into their childish World, where everything is innocent and naive..It’s everything I try to capture in my photos.

Anyway, some pics from a trip to the beach last weekend..


Tucked Away Under // Family

Say Something Sweet