Luella Miette and Maeve Emmeline Rosemeyer (Welcome).
Cradled in thin arms lies a small golden glow
Bright eyes that gaze upon the great mountain snow
Cradled in fabric soft lies the little arms that reach
For things that lovers dream of – sunlight across the sea.
Mamma’s feet will walk with her child with crimson hair
Her lover’s hand, he’s holding on caught in her moonlit stare
Daddy’s singing slow to a child with heavy eyes
Tiny hands are curled up softly by her sides
Her smile makes him weak and her gaze makes him strong
Tiny crimson girl this is your dreaming song
- Elle Graham – Alba’s Lullabies
With the happiest of hearts, on Friday February 08, 2013 we welcomed Luella Miette (2820g) and Maeve Emmeline (2610g) into our arms.
Finally, finally, our beautiful girls are here. Two weeks later and I am still giddy with elation and disbelief. I’m actually smiling, with stinging eyes, as I type. I cannot really grasp that I am sharing the birth story of our fifth and sixth babies. Every little thing, every single day, reminds me of the incredibly difficult journey it took to get to this place and then, so very often, the gratitude brings quiet happy tears. I spend so much of my day staring and kissing their heads and reaching for a camera and wanting to preserve every moment. I want to slow time and I want to keep them right here with me. For always.
So, here it is. The birth story of our girls. Luella and Maeve.
I’d heard that if you think the months before babies arrival go slowly, wait until the day of birth. Yes, this is very true but for me, it was the entire week of birth. Instead of busying myself with nursery preparation and excited chatter with the family, I found myself alone in hospital on bed-rest for seven days prior to their arrival. I didn’t plan to end up there, I just did. The evening of the belly shot I shared previously, as pathetic as it sound sounds, I cried my sorry self to sleep. I didn’t want to admit it but things really were becoming difficult, or maybe it was just that I was, and Crayton had begun speaking in sentences that frequently included the word ‘hospital’. In my usual obstinate fashion, I had begun protesting loudly against the idea. The thought of leaving everyone behind and waiting it out by myself across town did not remotely appeal – I just wanted to be able to soak up the anticipation together. I had painted the picture in my mind, counting down with the kids and repacking the suitcase and laying awake at night with my love, dreaming of meeting them. It only took one more night of no sleep and the complete inability to make it down the stairs the next morning to change my mind. For all my protesting, once I’d made the decision it really was fine and by the time we got to hospital, I was actually looking forward to the adjustable bed and meals on a tray.
I thought at some point I’d get bored and restless and impatient. I didn’t. Time did slow down but I actually began to really enjoy the quiet and the chance to write letters to the girls and the many many minutes of uninterrupted staring out the window. It was a time to really prepare for the biggest change in our lives since 2007 and to bask in the anticipation. The midwives were so sweet in sharing my excitement and it felt like our twins were the most important thing happening that week :)
A quite surreal something also took place over those days though. On February 5, the anniversary of Ava’s passing, I was laying in the same hospital where I held her and said goodbye. I watched the clock that morning, knowing it was coming. The same minutes my darling made her way from this Earth, in that same place. It was hard. More than hard. But it was also a different film reel this year. Before, it always stopped at the moment she left. Beyond that, just a time of unavoidable sadness. This year, this week though? It played on. This week I imagined the path between then and now and what was waiting at the end of it. I said endless thank yous to our sweet princesses. All of them. Ava, Ivy and the two tiny miracles about to arrive in that very same space. Those extra frames in my mind brought a new calm to some difficult moments. And when I made my way out of my room that day, for the first time since arriving, I wandered slowly down the quiet halls looking for something to photograph. I wanted to preserve a moment from that day. The late afternoon sun streamed through the huge windows and just steps from my door, I found this.
A small something but it felt like the perfect symbol for that day. From where I stood I could see the balcony of PICU..the place I’d gone to take shallow breath six years earlier. I don’t feel Ava often but I did that day. I felt her all around and I felt peace. I may not have been at home with the rest of my family that week but for at least some of it, I was with my darling girl and for that, I’m so grateful.
My ob had agreed that Friday the 8th of Feb was a good day to be born and I started counting down the minutes. I also began researching ways to make the whole operating theater environment and surgical birth experience a little more personal. In the UK, there is the option in some hospitals of having a ‘natural caesarean‘ and while I knew the big tertiary hospital I was in would never allow some of those concepts, I drew on the smaller elements to make it more special to us. I enlisted the help of wonderful midwives and spoke to key people who would be present for their birth. All in all, while I’d ideally have loved a natural birth, the girls had stayed very comfortable in their breech/transverse arrangement and I felt really happy that the team of people who would greet our babies were on board with the little requests I’d made. I was careful not to get too fixated though, I’d been warned numerous times that twins at 37 weeks may or may not need special care and if so, all the plans for personal touches would go straight out the window.
Seven days of bed rest and seven nights of pesky pre-labor contractions later, their day of birth dawned and I was literally bursting with excitement. Crayton arrived and we ‘gowned up’ and waited to be wheeled into theater. We were a huge mix of nerves and happiness and anticipation..hoping the surgery would go well, hoping they would be healthy, praying they were ready to be born. As we traveled to theater, I found it hard not to shout to strangers walking by that we were about to meet our twins. I giggled and squeezed Craytons hand and felt a thousand butterflies in my tummy.
At 1pm, I climbed up onto the bed and tried to prepare for what was about to happen. Both the imminent birth and the idea of the spinal anesthetic had me shaking. The tears rolled slowly down my cheeks while Crayton smiled to reassure me. The lovely medical staff did a great job of calming our nerves and my wonderful ob went to find speakers for my iPhone and happily popped on the music I’d asked to be played. Alba’s Lullabye, by Elle Graham, filled the room and helped me refocus. I still can’t say I found the spinal fun but we got there and thank the Lord, it worked. I’d asked for the medical team to keep mindless chatter to a minimum (I wanted the focus wholly and solely on this amazing event!!) but they did end up making small talk about silly things and to be honest, we probably needed it. The distraction meant I couldn’t focus too much on the incredible pushing, pressure and rummaging sensation going on below. I used every hypno-birthing technique I had to keep my breathing steady while I silently begged for it to be over and for everything to be okay. Crayton held my hand tightly and I searched the ceiling trying to find a reflection. And then, there she was. Luella. Big and beautiful and every bit a baby. Our baby!
She cried immediately and while that doesn’t quite fit with my ideas for a perfect arrival, it did mean lots of reassurance for us. They took her to be checked and we shifted focus to our other sweet-pea, still tucked well and truly inside. A few more minutes of more intense rummaging and then I heard the ob say she was out. I waited to see her but instead, the ob said “Sheye, she’s going straight to resus”. I’d been warned that babies only go immediately if they’re having problems so being honest, I was pretty afraid. The aimless chit chat had stopped and the silence of our second baby completely drowned out Luella’s cries. It seemed like forever but in reality, it only took a minute for her to cry also. Oh, the relief. My ob explained she was being over cautious and while it meant we have no birth photo of Maeve, I am very happy she took no chances.
The next ten minutes were spent with my darling girls perched on my chest, blinking and sniffling and taking in the World. I saw right away how different they looked – Luella was pink skinned and fine featured. Maeve..well she was like all the other Rosemeyer babies – dark skin and eyes with a little button nose and very round head. I wanted to feed them right away but lying on a narrow theater bed didn’t allow for it so Crayton went with them to the nursery for some skin to skin. It wasn’t very long before I got to see them again – perched up on Daddy’s chest eagerly waiting for lunch. I was thrilled to find they both fed well and that they were able to return to my room with me.
All our worries, all our hesitation about when they should be born..and here they were, healthy and beautiful. I can’t describe how elated I felt in those moments and still, forteen days later. How did we got so incredibly lucky? It still feels so unreal. It feels like when we had Luca and couldn’t fathom the hospital lets you take them home. Without a chaperone. Like, you just get to keep them? Wow. Wow. Wow. Every single day, I still say to Crayton “Can you believe it?”, to which he replies “No, I can’t.”
When I found out I was having twins, I worried about carrying them. I worried about their birth. Never, though, about caring for them. I know it’s hard, on some levels, but we’ve done so much harder. It’s almost laughable when people say the things people say when twins are discussed. The most popular so far seems to be “glad it’s you and not me” to which I cheerfully reply “me too”. I am absolutely loving every single second of life as a Mother to twins. I can’t imagine feeling otherwise, after what it’s taken to get here. All throughout my IVF journey, if you’d asked me my ideal outcome, I would have first said a healthy baby of course but if you’d have pushed me, I’d have told you, in my wildest dreams, it was twin girls. While I do know about life delivering situations that are impossible to comprehend, I still struggle to believe we are here. To have their older siblings doting on them too is just the icing.
Of course there are the practical bits that aren’t quite as much fun as staring and cooing all day. I’m finding out that the sleep deprivation is a whole different World to the sleep deprivation I experienced in pregnancy. There is a big difference between waking up yourself all night and being woken out of a deep sleep. Add in a set of breasts on fire and then times it all by two and well, it’s demanding for sure. The good thing is I’ve figured out quickly how important routine is and have stuck to it pretty well. At the moment they are usually only waking twice overnight to feed, or I’m waking them if need be. It does mean being awake for at least an hour or more each time but at least they’re in sync and it’s not all night long. Being early, they do sleep a lot and I’m under no illusion that it won’t change. I do expect there to be much harder days ahead but gratitude carries you so much further than you can normally cope with. I never forget, not for a second. My heart literally sings with the appreciation of this gift..even at midnight. And 3am.
And speaking of appreciation..you. All of you. I am totally overwhelmed – yet again – by the incredible love and support shown to our family. Your excitement and enthusiasm, your beautiful words, the gorgeous gifts, the sheer celebration of our babies arrival. It’s incredible and it’s all things good in human nature. Endless thank you’s for making this magical time even more special for us.
Oh, and the girls names..I’ve been asked a few questions about them so here’s how they came about.
Luella – a name Crayton really loved and often put forth but I always had 2 syllables in mind..in line with the other kids. When I realized I could shorten to Lula, one of my top contenders, it seemed like the perfect choice. It’s the first time Crayton has had a look in with baby naming and given there were two arriving I figured I couldn’t be entirely greedy. I think Lula is very sweet for a baby and little girl and Luella is a lovely grown up name. Miette, her middle name, means “small sweet thing” in French. I loved it so much the first time I heard it and I was quite intent on it being Twin 2′s first name. After test driving it on anyone who’d stop and listen, I gathered that it could be problematic. From bad pronunciation to just plain confused expressions..I decided it was best as Lula’s second name. I still adore it very much and it will be the perfect nickname for when she is being small and sweet :)
And then Maeve. A name I heard quite some years ago and fell hard for. A little more unusual than Mae, which I also adore, to me it conjures up everything cute for a small child and everything elegant for a grown up. I do think it suits her so perfectly. Emmeline, her middle name, was for no reason other than it just sounded really pretty. Melodic and feminine and again, French. (One of my alternate Universes has me raising children on the Côte d’Azur you see). So, I hope they love them as much as I do. For the record, they’re pronounced Lou-ella Me-ette and Mave (rhymes with brave) Emma-lene.
So, the sky looks different once again and for the first time in six long years, I remember what real, pure, true happiness is. Thank you for choosing us, our beautiful baby girls. You are so very loved.
xo
91 shared sentiments
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So happy for you. Your girls are just gorgeous little angels. Thank you for sharing your story and pictures. I wish your family well. William
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Congratulations!!!
Dearest Sheye!
What beautiful little girls!
Again, I can’t read any of your text.
But I can see that you must be very happy now!
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Congratulations Sheye and many welcomes to your two stunning new beauties!
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Fantastic!!!! Thank you for sharing, wish all the Rosemeyers the very best!!
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I have been watching your site waiting for these sweet girls to be born and today, here was the happy news! I never can read your posts without crying my eyes out!! ;) Congratulations to you. You deserve nothing but pure happiness!!
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Oh Sheye, I have been a reader for so many years but don’t think I have ever commented. However, I simply must congratulate you and your gorgeous family on your beautiful new additions, thank you for letting us share your journey, so very happy for you xxx
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I have been a reader for many years but never commented. I must congratulate you on the arrival of your beautiful girls. My heart is bursting with happiness for you all.
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thrilled beyond words for you & your beauty*FULL family…
enjoy every . single . second with those angels!
congrats!
xoxo…
~p
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Crying with joy at your wonderful news. Hooray hooray hooray x
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Sheye, Congratulations to you and your family on your two beautiful baby girls. I hope the next few years bring you joy and happiness to you and your family. I know Ava can never be replaced in your hearts, but I see her in those girls and I know she sent those girls to you to fill your hearts with the happiness you deserve. Enjoy every moment you get with those girls, and with Luca, Mason and Ivy. You have been truly blessed.
xoxo
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They are beautiful!!!!!
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Congratulations! They are beautiful and I love their names! So glad it all went well and you are going well. Enjoy this special time with them and the rest of the family xxx
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Congratulations Sheye, I was so excited upon reding your blog back in late 2012 and discovering you we’re pregnant with your twin girls! I think of you a lot seeing as I am reminded of you each time I look at the beautiful photos you took of my 3 children back in 2007. I really warmed to you and prayed that one day again you would experience the birth of another and after all you have bee through these beautiful twin girls are such a blessing. You must all be over the moon! I was also touched when reading of your pregnancy news because I am also pregnant with number 5 due April 12 th with a gender surprise. In the future I hope to one day meet up with you again for some more photos now that I have added 2 more to our bunch. By the way love the names so sweet. Bless xo
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Congrats Sheye. Everything about those little baby girls is just perfect!
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Congratulations to you all, they are absolutely beautiful!!!
This news has made my day :)
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I am so happy for you! they’re beautiful
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Congratulations Sheye and family! This is simply wonderful! :)
Thank you so much for sharing these beautiful pictures of your Beauty.Full little princesses … <3
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My heart is literally bursting for you from across a wide ocean. Congratulations and what lucky little twin ladies you have.
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Congratulations! I say this with joy in heart and a smile on my face! I am so happy for you and your husband and all your darling children! What beautiful little girls the Lord has blessed you with! Enjoy every. single. precious. amazing. love-filled moment with your family! xx
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Congrats on your new baby girls. They are beautiful & you write so beautifully Sheye. Happy Happy for you!
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Sincerest congratulations to you, Sheye. Your joy sounds profound and immeasurable. Your girls are beautiful beyond words. As a mother of a daughter borne of IVF, I understand the journey upon which you have embarked, though not how it feels to mother newborn twins! I, too, still ask my husband if he can believe it that we have this 15-month old daughter that we, and her brother, dreamed of for seven (felt like 17 or 27) years. And here she is, just like Luealla and Maeve. God bless your family.
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I was so excited to see you had posted and was hoping deep in my heart that your little delights had arrived safe and sounds. I am so happy to hear that they have. What a wonderful story of their birth and the connection to their sister.
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Sheye, as always I have tears running down my face as I read your posts. Happy, heart felt tears. I am so delighted for you and your family. Your girls are just divine.
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unbelievably happy for you! The last pic. of your girls is so sweet I can hardly stop looking at it :) I am a twin myself. And am reminded by reading/looking at this that we are all wonderfully and fearfully made….and knit together in our mothers womb. Truly a blessing from God!
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Sheye, this is the loveliest blog post I have ever read. I am so very happy for you and your family. Wow Mum to six!it warmed my heart to read that you felt Ava with you at this special time also. xxoo
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congratulations! this just warms my heart!!
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oh and i love their names!!
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Congratulations again, they are beautiful and I am in love with their names!
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they are just beautiful.. and i look forward to watching them grow and change.. thank you for sharing them and all your lovelies with us.. so overjoyed for your family.
love
e
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Oh they are here! So happy for you!!
On a side note..I can never read what you’ve written. It comes up with just tiny pink crosses..I can see the lphotos fine but no words! Is it a fault on my end??
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I just wanted to say I’m so happy for you! I’ve followed your blog for a long time and so when I found out you were having twins and then they actually happened.. :D
just thank you for sharing your life, your beautiful words and photos, both the grief and the joy! I’m always reading along and feeling along.
love, protection & many blessings to you and your family <3
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A million congratulations, they are so beautiful!!! So very happy for you and these two little gifts…thanks for sharing them with us!
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The BW picture nr 5 from the bottom … Would that be Maeve Emmeline?
Doesn’t she look like baby Ava at the same age in the picture?
Such beautiful babies … BEAUTY.FULL!
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Congratulations to such a beautiful family and what gorgeous, amazing photos. I haven’t been in the blog world very much lately but I had to come and check that your gorgeous bundles had arrived.
The 8th of February is such a beautiful day and I know as my daughter Amber was born on the 9th just the day after, nine years ago.
The reason I haven’t been blogging but coming on to check is as I have kind of been sharing your journey and using your blog as an inspiration, as we are pregnant also, but it was one big surprise, as I suffer from severe hypermesis(severe morning sickness), basically without medication I would be hospitalized several times for severe dehydration. After experiencing this with my last two children for the whole 9 months, I could not face another pregnancy or to put my loved ones through what is truly a hard harrowing journey.
I mention this as your posts and another fellow blogger who has just had her third helped give me inspiration to keep me going and that the miracle at the end is truly worth all the pain and struggle.
I still have nine weeks to go, but I am so happy for you all, I know these two beautiful angels sent to you all will bring so much sunshine and love into your lives, and I couldn’t think of a family that will love and treasure them more.
Wishing you all a life time of rainbows and sunshine.
Kylie and family xx
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Congratulations to such a beautiful family and what gorgeous, amazing photos. I haven’t been in the blog world very much lately but I had to come and check that your gorgeous bundles had arrived.
The 8th of February is such a beautiful day and I know as my daughter Amber was born on the 9th just the day after, nine years ago.
The reason I haven’t been blogging but coming on to check is as I have kind of been sharing your journey and using your blog as an inspiration, as we are pregnant also, but it was one big surprise, as I suffer from severe hypermesis(severe morning sickness), basically without medication I would be hospitalized several times for severe dehydration. After experiencing this with my last two children for the whole 9 months, I could not face another pregnancy or to put my loved ones through what is truly a hard harrowing journey.
I mention this as your posts and another fellow blogger who has just had her third helped give me inspiration to keep me going and that the miracle at the end is truly worth all the pain and struggle.
I still have nine weeks to go, but I am so happy for you all, I know these two beautiful angels sent to you all will bring so much sunshine and love into your lives, and I couldn’t think of a family that will love and treasure them more.
Wishing you all a life time of rainbows and sunshine.
Kylie and family xx
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A huge congratulations to you and your family on the safe and healthy arrival of your two beautiful little girls. The names you have chosen are as beautiful as they are. I had been checking in here frequently for updates :)
Enjoy!
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Parabens, Sheye
I am very happy that you already have your babies.
I am mother of twin boys, and like you since the first minute doctor told me, I was so so happy. Not for a second I thought it would be difficult or I was afraid. I could not stop smilling and wanted to tell everybody. Many times people would say to me things not so clever, but Ididn´t mind because I was so happy and I already had two children. Again, I’m very happy, me and my oldest daughter we ready you all the time and we are cheering on your beautiful family, we also make Ava tea party here in the Algarve Portugal. Beijos.
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Congratulations :) they are so precious. look forward to watching them grow.
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ooooh my god congratulations sheye! they are BEAUTIFUL! and i just LOVED their names =] i wish you and your amazing family a lifetime of happiness!!
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I love seeing in frames, I love the beauty in the ordinary, I love my camera, I love that when I see images I hear too. I love the latelight, I love finding moments I didn’t imagine and I love creating moments I did. I love learning more every day, I love sharing what I’ve come to know, and I love making pictures pretty.
I’m so glad you stopped by. xx
After I read this I played the music and my two little girls came in to dance around as they listened too. Little girls are just so precious and sweet. I am so happy for you and that you have 2 more to love ;) Thanks for always reminding me to cherish in the small moments, they are the things that make life sweet!