39 sentiments shared

New Seeing.

The short:
Here I am, about to start 37 weeks!

The long (and the real):
Here I am, having the photos taken that I’ve promised I would for months. And only because my husband was wise enough to insist and kind enough to take them. I admire his bravery to be honest. I really am the most difficult, self critical woman on the planet when it comes to photos and I wouldn’t want to capture me. Knowing that, the events that took place around this seemingly small task should not have come as any surprise. Let me paint a picture.

Before this moment, I begrudgingly struggled up the stairs to try and find something to fit. I changed more than once and cursed more than twice. I watched the light falling outside while I tried to apply false eyelashes to eyes that were too far from the mirror.

I struggled back down the stairs to three children who wouldn’t change into photo appropriate attire and traipsed the endless bed of bindies to the the closest patch of light. All the while, snapping instructions to my poor beloved who somehow wasn’t born knowing how to a) operate a camera on manual b) capture sunflare or c) see inside my mind. Don’t get my legs, I said. You’re too far back. Get Ivy with my tummy. Not that low. I said no legs. What are you doing? What am I doing? Seriously.

Seven minutes later and wise, kind beloved looks confused and regretful. The boys are fading and Ivy appears crest fallen. I loudly and dramatically admit defeat and stomp (as best I can with a broken pelvis) back indoors, proclaiming I’m going to find another family on match.com who will actually make a real effort.

And then.. cue the wailing. The latex glue on my eyelashes are causing an allergic reaction and my feet are morphing into cushions. Everything, every. single. thing, hurt.

But worse than that? The LCD told me what I already knew. Sniffling and pathetic, I sat flicking through frame after frame of images that looked nothing like the ones in my head and wailed some more. I wasn’t being rational and I had no intention of trying to be.

Later that night, with less puffy eyes and feets, I looked again and still, I saw the same frames and flaws. I saw nothing that I’d wanted captured and everything that I didn’t. But also, as I saw the happy smiles of my children, I realized that the clothes I’d gotten cross over were barely noticeable. And that the photos themselves were technically fine. They may not have donned the perfect outfits or pressed the exact buttons I’d wanted but they all happily came to capture this moment. They came because it was important to me and even when I slid into tantrum mode and none of it was the least bit fun anymore, they didn’t walk away. And so, with new seeing, I’m sharing this with you.

The Really Real:
Here I am, starting 37 weeks tomorrow :) I look at this image and it makes my heart burst. I see my gorgeous Ivy and her pure excitement. I see the months of anticipation and gratitude and I see the years of hope and perseverance. I see my amazing belly that’s holding the most incredible thing that has ever happened to me. I see a new door opening. I see a different February to the last five and I see that even from the very, very darkest of days that the sun can shine again. I see Ava, my sweet, sweet Ava, and all that has become because of her. Most of all, I see an image taken with so much love, by the one I love.

Thankyou my darling for helping me see as you saw.
xo

ps A favorite song, for you, and to remind me.

http://youtu.be/6mL_h7DCZ18

39 shared sentiments

  1. tomtomsmum says:

    Seen through the eyes of someone who loves you? Best filter ever.

  2. Keri-Anne says:

    Oh sweetie. When i was reading this, i wanted to reach in a hug you! I wish i could have taken the pictures for you. That picture though is heart melting. So much excitment and happy feelings. You will look back at that picture in a few years and really treasure it. I just now it

    Keri-Anne x

  3. jody ferlaak says:

    It is a beautiful thing when the eyes on our face align with the eyes in our heart. I love the vision of you. And all the parts that you share. I think I have said it before, but where our joy and sorrows meet it is often in the very same space. It’s the choosing which way to look at what we see that makes the difference. To miss a photo such as this would be to miss a huge part of the journey. And I am not just speaking to your bulging belly right now. {wink} Your family efforts, as much struggle and challenge as they were in getting this, paid off. Now and likely for years to come as you look back and hardly remember what this time in your life looked {and felt!} like. It will be over before you blink. Speaking of blink, I hope Creighton got a few closeups or face shots to make it worth your while to get those eyelashes applied. =) Love to you all as you get ever closer to your babes! xoxo

  4. Oh my gosh Sheye. I thought that picture was so beautiful. You look amazing. You are beautiful in every way. Praying for you every day. I know how uncomfortable you are. So thankful for these new blessings that will soon be here.

  5. Sharon says:

    Could you have written anything more perfect? It’s a beautiful image. Soon…

  6. Mandy says:

    Oh Sheye, you are beautiful in every way. I’m so happy for you. This is lovely!

  7. Kelli McCloskey says:

    Sheye. You look beautiful. I am smiling with tears of joy. So happy for you!!

  8. Abigail says:

    I can assure you that you are the only one that sees those flaws..the rest of us see a tremendously beautiful strong woman about to do an amazing thing and bring another 2 of the most loved little beings into the world. A truly beautiful image and one to be treasured!

  9. tammi says:

    Even when you feel at your biggest/worst/most uncomfortable, you radiate beauty from within, because your body is housing new life. And there is nothing more breathtaking. <3
    Hugs, fellow mama – not much longer now. :)

  10. Katy I. says:

    You are gorgeous..and that shot is priceless. I teared up imaging the crazy emotion you must be feeling…missing your Ava, then completely excited about what’s in store :), then being pregnant, period, because we all know that causes crazy hormones…I can’t even imagine it all together…whew!
    Wishing you many, many happy days ahead!

  11. You (and your words) and so lovely. What a gorgeous image!

  12. Johanna mcshan says:

    I love this story. It sounds so much like what happened when I asked my husband to take photos of me while pregnant. So much so that I read it aloud to him so he would know he is not alone in his misery of being married to a photographer.

    Thank you for making us smile.

  13. shi~ says:

    Oh sheye..bless your preggie heart! and that family of yours!!! i don’t know if I want to cry or laugh right now..BUT oh so relate!! cept for the pelvis..Owie!!! Thanks for sharing..I so wanted to see and I see only beauty and love…love and joy..and life and healing …

  14. Amber Greene says:

    Gorgeous as usual, Sheye!
    I’m so happy for you at this time of rebirth in your life. :)
    Lovely.

  15. Toni says:

    I so relate to this, so many of us reading it will I’m sure! So glad you got photos & so glad you can see the beauty in them as they will surely become some of the most special you have. You have inspired me to get some family photos sooner rather than later (been waiting to lose weight, yada yada). Not long now Sheye, hang in there, one day at a time xxx

  16. Nic says:

    You convey the story so beautifully, and always, always make me laugh! I love the image you have chosen, and the glimpse in words we saw of the “making of” :)
    Much love and safe arrival to your new princesses xx

  17. Maddi says:

    How do you shave your legs???

  18. k8 says:

    Just gorgeous. True words, lovely image. All from the heart.

    Love this!

    xx

  19. Hayley says:

    Just beautiful.

  20. Jody Ryan says:

    Sheye you are amazing, your honesty so raw and beautiful. I’m glad you saw it for it’s beauty in the end, but shared the reality of what it was for you at the time. xxx Wishing these last few days /weeks be kind to your body and happy for you all xxx

  21. Love! You are so beautiful. Thinking of you. xoxo

  22. Nomi says:

    I see a gorgeous mother and a sweet girl!

  23. Andrea C says:

    Beautifully said. Only you could get away with articulating the true realities, of involving your dearest in a photosession, in such a beautiful way.

  24. Sarah says:

    I LOVE this photo!

  25. eva says:

    soo so sweet!
    Dearest Sheye, all the best of luck for an easy delivery!

  26. Helena says:

    Now that is what I would call a real baby belly … :) I am impressed by the fact that you do not tilt forward ;)

    Beautiful picture, you look lovely, both of you … I love that the dress is a bit see-through, we really get the impression of the size of the “bump” … :)

    Hope you won’t be all uncomfortable the time that is left …

  27. William Carney says:

    Perfect picture. Ivy is growing so fast.
    I wish you well in your upcoming birth’s.
    Have you picked out names for the new girls yet?

  28. Ellen says:

    You look unbelievably amazing!!

  29. Kim H. says:

    Merciful heavens!!! This is the THE most gorgeous image I have ever seen. So beautiful and full of emotion! All of your emotion is perfect. Wishing you and your family a peaceful, healthy and joyous journey with your twins!

  30. Dominique says:

    You are so beautiful inside and out. Thank you for sharing the raw tiny details in your life (which are big details). Sending you love from Florida in the States xoxo

  31. Ellie says:

    And with all of that said. It was all unknowingly perfect<3

  32. Fernanda says:

    Sheye, You both look so Beautiful! I love your big belly And i’m sooo happy for You all!

    My darling Ava, thankyou for You.

    Fer xx

  33. Belinda says:

    So beautiful! Love this photo and I’m sure the rest are beautiful too! You look amazing!

  34. AJ says:

    Congratulations Sheye on the arrival of your precious babies!!!

  35. Kylie & family says:

    Gorgeous girls+Gorgeous fella = Gorgeous photo.
    Kxxxxo

  36. William Carney says:

    The twins are just adorable. Sweet little angels. I’m happy for you and your family. I wish you well.

  37. Annmarie says:

    From across the world, I’ve cried so many tears reading your blog. I am more then thrilled for you all. I am a mother of 3 girls, 2 of which are twins…and understand infertility and the pain of loss….your story just touches my soul.
    Best Wishes..and thanks for sharing your heart with us. It doesn’t go un-noticed, but is relished. much love- annmarie

  38. Stacey says:

    Oh gosh, I am not a big blog commenter (on any blog) but I had to tell you how happy I am for you and your family!! I have followed your blog for a long time, and you all deserve this happiness!

  39. Louise Sharp says:

    Lovely, sweet Sheye. I stop by here on occasion to catch up with your story and see your beautiful, inspirational photos. Thank you for sharing your world. Pouring out my love and congratulations to the Rosemeyer family.
    Lou X

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