Wow! What a big, crazy week, which followed on from my big, crazy news. The one about the twins. The Twins!! I’m expecting twins!! It’s still so amazing for me to even think of two babies, let-a-lone be writing about how they came to be. Can you believe it? I honestly feel like I’ve won Lotto twice over. But double that. And then some!
So, rewinding a little .. You might recall back when I talked of giving up on IVF..I think around 9 cycles in? I’m not sure because really, no-one keeps count at that point. Anyway, while I had most definitely had enough, it’s the same for the period after every failed cycle and inevitably, the frustration fades and the horrible yearning returns. So on to failed cycles 10 and 11 and then a then a year’s break. It was so wonderful to take that time out and when I cycled again in June this year, it was with an overall mix of skepticism and calm acceptance that the end was nigh. Just one more cycle. Really. And as the days unfolded and the injections and tests and scans ticked over, even with the rest beforehand and the best intentions, it was a pretty cruddy effort. Crayton was overseas for the majority of it while I juggled childrens things and business needs and clinic visits and demonic hormones. I wasn’t surprised but disappointed none the less when we had fewer embryos than ever before and those we did barely made it to day 3, letalone our usual day 5 transfer. It was with much cynicism that I went through the motions, all the while planning a trip to NYC come September. The day before the result I cried to my acupuncturist, believing I knew the outcome. That’s the thing with fertility treatment though – there is no guarantee of anything and I of all people should know to expect the very, very unexpected.
Fast forward 18 weeks. And so it seems, I am in fact pregnant. With twins. Twin girls, at that. Really, wow. I still can’t quite take it in – even as I glance down at my rather enormous bump! I truly cannot express how grateful and excited and amazed we are. After many weeks of nerves and trepidation, we’re finally beginning to relax and allow ourselves to start enjoying what we’ve waited so very long for. Well, we’re trying to. I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you we’re still a little nervous but lets face it, most pregnancies come with anxiety. Twin pregnancies, more-so. And with our history? Eeesh. Now we’re past our ‘big’ scan though, at least we’re a little less crazy about it all. It really does feel like it’s becoming real. I even started some Pinterest baby boards this week!! Small things that feel like big steps :)
There’s so much I want to say that I struggle to wrap it all up into a few paragraphs so for now I will just say thank you so, so much for all the support and prayers and good wishes sent our way since sharing our IVF struggles. Thank you too for all the beautiful sentiments sent our way this past week – they add another layer of excitement and happiness to this time and I can’t wait to share more with you.
Love Sheye xo