“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us.”
- Charles Dickens
10.43am. Monday.
He said,
“Sheye, come in.”
I went in. With Crayton.
We sat down.
“Hello Doctor.”
“Hi. Jump up there, we’re doing a scan today, aren’t we?”
“We are.”
I jumped up there.
On the bed.
Doctor began to scan.
And scanned a little more.
And a little more after that.
A little too much scanning actually.
And too many seconds ticking by.
Gosh, it was quiet.
And so very still.
I put my arm above my head and searched for Crayton’s hand and drew in my breath and stared at the ceiling.
The quiet seconds kept ticking by.
While I waited to exhale.
Doctor said, eventually, “It’s not looking very good right now”.
But we already knew that.
Pack away hopes.
Insert sadness here.
I wish with all of my heart I wasn’t sharing this news. I wish the terrifying ‘what if’s’ were still just that. Wish as I might though, it seems our very much wanted pregnancy has ended.
I know all of the happiness you’ve showered on us will be replaced by equal sadness and disappointment but please know, even with the sorrow we feel right now we’re still facing forward and we’re still so very grateful for nine weeks and five days of bliss and we’re sure there will be a perfect time for our perfect baby. Everything will be okay.
With love,
Sheye x
253 shared sentiments
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Oh, I am so terribly sorry.
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If my parents hadn’t kept up the hope and faith, for 5 whole agonising years, I wouldn’t be here today. It can happen, especially with your very own guardian ava angel watching over you all. please don’t give up.
I will hope and pray for your family. every. single. day.
xxxxx
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Oh Sheye :( I didn’t want to have to read this post. So sorry this happened to you and your beautiful family. I will look forward to the post when you tell us that the perfect time has come for your perfect baby x
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I am so sorry. It just does not seem fair. I look forward in hope for you.
Bless you.
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Can’t help but feel so terribly impressed by how you are taking this.
You are so strong.
And you are right.
“Everything will turn out in the end.
If it hasn’t turned out then it isn’t the end” (Dalai Lama)
In the mean time I feel utterly sorry for your loss.
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Ava is taking care of her little brother or sister….
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I am sorry. I can’t imagine this heartbreak after all that you have been thru. All I can send you are blessings.
Take care.
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so, so sorry. many thoughts and prayers to you and your family. xo, tracy
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I heard those exact words about 4 weeks ago. I remember the quietness, the stillness, the agonizing seconds, and the words…”those” words. My heart breaks for you. I am so sorry for your loss.
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It seems I have cried more tears for you than any other person I know. Oh, Sheye, I’m so sorry. Your little miracle will come at the perfect time, I know it. And I will be praying for exactly that. Sending big hugs to you.
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I sat exactly where you did on August 30th. It had been 18 months since our journey began. Hoping for a second little one to join our family. It was, as you said, 7 weeks and 5 days of bliss. It was HOPE in a dark tunnel. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
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No amount of “I’m sorry” can help, I know, but do know that my heart is aching, though, yes, on a much smaller scale, along with yours. Looking forward to when your readers are able to celebrate with you again, though the next will be just that much sweeter.
Faith, hope, love…You have them all, in equal and abundant measure.
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I’m so sorry for your family. I’ll keep you all in my thoughts.
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Sheye, so sorry to read this. Sending you much love from across the world. Your sweet, sweet spirit is such an encouragement to me.
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there will be a perfect time, soon………sending prayers & hugs, xxoo
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Oh good gosh. I’m so so sorry, Sheye. I’m so very sad to read this. Prayers for you tonight. ♥
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My heart aches for you tonight. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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I am so very sorry
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Hi Sheye, I am so so sorry to hear of your news….my prayers and love I send to you and your family.
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I am so sorry this happened, but I believe with all my might that there is a perfect baby out there for you whether you go through IVF again or adoption, or heck if a stork literally drops one off on your doorstep.
I’m sending comforting thoughts from afar. Be kind to yourself.
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i will never understand why the world does this to good people…my thoughts are with you…
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This breaks my heart. Sending lots of love, thoughts, and prayers.
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I am so sorry Sheye, your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
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oh sheye, my heart breaks for you and your family. prayers & thoughts with you.
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Oh Sheye. I am so very sorry….you are in thoughts around the world.
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Oh honey, {{{hugs}}} I am so so sorry.
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Oh, Sheye. I am so very sorry. I know all too well what it feels like to have “that scan”. I have had a hard time conceiving and then have lost 4 babies. 2 at 20 weeks, 1 at 8 weeks, and one at 12 weeks. It hurts. And I am so sorry you have had to go through it. No one should have to. Hope the coming days and weeks are happy for you.
Jenny
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So sad. Thinking of you today.
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oh! Sheye, sorry lot, my heart is sad for you today, God is with you.
I come to invite you to visit our website http://www.ourbabyboysparty.blogspot.com
honoring our beautiful boy, Jorge, thanks for reading this message, we hope you’ll join us:)Much Love,
Fernanda xxx :)
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I’m so very sorry Sheye. I’ve experienced the same thing twice. The quietness is the worst, when you know before they tell you that something’s wrong. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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So heartsore to read this post Sheye. Praying your perfect baby is just around the corner xxx
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Oh sheye, im so so sorry that this is happening to you. My heart is heavy and my eyes full of tears. I hope hope hope that a precious baby can come your way again sometime soon. we are thinking of you, and hoping that you are surrounded by love love love. xox
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everything WILL be okay – as you said. i wish the news was different, but everything WILL be okay. hugs and love.
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Heart aching…heart breaking for you. Prayers to you and your family!
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Sheye, I am so sorry for your loss. As everyone has already said everything will be okay, but my heart is broken for you. I truly feel that your family has already endured WAY too much grief to have to now deal with yet another blow. I am so so sorry I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong…
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Oh Sheye, I’m devastated for you.
One day when I get the chance I’m going to ask God all the questions we don’t have the answers to. I just don’t get why some things happen the way they do. I just don’t get it!
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I am so sorry Sheye.
Lots of love to your whole family.
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Oh Sheye, I’m so so sorry. My heart is breaking for you. Lots of love and prayers for your family and your sweet little babe of 9 weeks and 5 days who has gone to play with Ava.
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I have just read back over your last few posts as i havent logged on for a little while. I am shocked and sorry for this heartache that you and your family are living with right now. Well done to you for remembering all the happiness you shared during this time. You are in my thoughts. I hope your children are ok as well.
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To quote someone very clever and brave I know: ‘I believe in …Tea to make it better.’
Tea…lots of tea, Sheye!
Love
Kylie and family xoxox
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I only just found your website today. I have been drinking in all the images of your precious, perfect children and your Angel, Ava. Then I went to the newest post…I am so very sorry. But you are right, your next perfect child will come at the very perfect time, I am sure of it. ((( hugs xo)))
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My heart goes out to you and your family.
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Dearest Sheye i am so sorry to hear this news
x
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xxx
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Oh Sheye, I’m so deeply sorry to hear this news. Life just doesn’t seem fair, you and your family deserve all the happiness in the world. I’m sure your super princess is looking after your babe :) xxx
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Oh Sheye,
I haven’t read your blog in a few days and as I read now I mourn for you and your family all over again. May God continue to bless you as you look forward.
Love,
Bridget
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Sheye,
It breaks my heart to read this post. I am so very sorry for your loss, nobody deserves this, but you and your family least of all. Stay strong, your strength, hope, and wonderful family will keep you going during this time.
Love,
Katie
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sheye… i have been thinking about you non-stop since i read this. i had this EXACT experience when i miscarried about a month ago… wow, your words were poignant (as usual). we are right there with you. nothing can really be said except that you are right, your perfect baby will come and then it will all make sense. sending so much love and strength and peace.
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Heya Sheye…we’ve shared your happiness, & now share your sadness….& we will share in your joy, delight & happiness again. THANK-YOU for sharing! Hang in there buddy x
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I love seeing in frames, I love the beauty in the ordinary, I love my camera, I love that when I see images I hear too. I love the latelight, I love finding moments I didn’t imagine and I love creating moments I did. I love learning more every day, I love sharing what I’ve come to know, and I love making pictures pretty.
I’m so glad you stopped by. xx
I’m so so sorry… (((HUGS)))