55 sentiments shared

Butterfly.

eye candy actions|toy camera|purple haze|own texture

Each morning, as the butterflies emerge, Ivy picks up her net and runs out to the field.  She chases and squeals and if really lucky, ever-so-carefully picks them up.  She calls them her friends.  She had never caught one mid air.  We’ve always had to wait until they land. But today, she did.  We gathered round and with the butterfly down on the ground, covered in net, we peered together..She giggled, I applauded her wonderful butterfly catching skills.  I reminded her to be gentle while she reached out.

And then do you know what? Right there, right in front of our eyes, that butterfly disappeared.  We stared, Ivy moved the net around a little, we stared some more, and said in unison “where did it go?”  There was nowhere for it to go.   No holes in the net.  No nothing on the ground for it to hide under.  It didn’t fly away.  It. was. just. gone.

I thought about this all afternoon. It made no sense.  I sat, wondering how on Earth this butterfly was there.  I saw it.  And a moment later, not.  What did I miss?  A hole in the ground?  A blink where she flew away?  Clearly, I missed something.    And then I remembered.

A clear day, we marveled, we swooned, we felt so lucky to have her and then..just like that, she was gone.  Right in front of our eyes, she was no more.   It’s not so impossible to believe.  We’ve been here before.

x

(and for you, something I love:)

Butterfly – Lenny Kravitz

1. callie Page says:

   You are an inspiration. Thank you.

   
2. { Bethany } says:

   I spent Olivia’s naptime re-living Ava’s life. I went back and read every single one of her posts, looked at every single one of her pictures, clicked through her memorial website, and pondered.

   So many of your early posts reflect things I have felt and written.

   I used to take pictures, too. I have so, so many of Gavin. I stopped after he died. I only took a few required ones to put off feelings of guilt, but I didn’t enjoy it anymore.

   Olivia is one now. I’ve been scared, too. Too scared. Every day, every night. I don’t want to admit that I love her with all the reckless abandon and fervor that I loved Gavin with…because what if I lost her, too?

   I miss losing myself in that love. I think I’m ready to enjoy again. Thank you for the inspiration. Thank you for sharing Ava.

   *hug*
   ~Bethany
   Gavin’s mom

   
3. Keri Byrant says:

   Usually I go to a photographer’s website and my heart fills with awe at their talent, creativity and passion. Here, my heart broke a little for your sweet Ava, and for you. What a breathtaking beauty she is, and what an unfair number of “I love you’s” you had together in this life. From a mother of 4 – 3 princesses and one rough and tumble boy – I am sending you stranger-hugs from across the world from smalltown Connecticut (a suburb of New York City)
   You are brave, and so unbelievably positive. And you and Ava are touching so many lives..even just in me wanting to get up tomorrow and hug my sweeties tighter and warn them of the dangers in everyday things, and teach them what to do then. From the bottom of my heart, Thank you.
   And your pictures?
   They take my breath away. They capture what this life is truly about…I think you got it LONG before Ava. Keep capturing that sweetness with what God gave you for other parents.
   Hope your winter down there is as lovely as the Dogwoods almost in full bloom here. May you continue to find peace and love.
   Keri

   
4. Justina says:

   Thank you.

   
5. Caroline says:

   This post absolutely gave me chills, it is beyond beautiful.

   I wish you would post more often, I love everything you have to say and the photos that go along with it. My greatest hugs from a stranger afar are being sent to you tonight, with all the love possible to pass through a computer screen.