Butterfly.
eye candy actions|toy camera|purple haze|own texture
Each morning, as the butterflies emerge, Ivy picks up her net and runs out to the field. She chases and squeals and if really lucky, ever-so-carefully picks them up. She calls them her friends. She had never caught one mid air. We’ve always had to wait until they land. But today, she did. We gathered round and with the butterfly down on the ground, covered in net, we peered together..She giggled, I applauded her wonderful butterfly catching skills. I reminded her to be gentle while she reached out.
And then do you know what? Right there, right in front of our eyes, that butterfly disappeared. We stared, Ivy moved the net around a little, we stared some more, and said in unison “where did it go?” There was nowhere for it to go. No holes in the net. No nothing on the ground for it to hide under. It didn’t fly away. It. was. just. gone.
I thought about this all afternoon. It made no sense. I sat, wondering how on Earth this butterfly was there. I saw it. And a moment later, not. What did I miss? A hole in the ground? A blink where she flew away? Clearly, I missed something. And then I remembered.
A clear day, we marveled, we swooned, we felt so lucky to have her and then..just like that, she was gone. Right in front of our eyes, she was no more. It’s not so impossible to believe. We’ve been here before.
x
(and for you, something I love:)
Oh my Sheye, so, so beautiful.
{My name means butterfly in Greek so to me, they’re extra special}
Vx
I just love all of your pictures and writting.. so beautiful
Sheye, That is so beautiful, you have an amazing way with words. Butterflies have meant so much more to me since we lost our precious daughter Ariana early this year – but the way you put it, is perfect. x
again…you have put into words what is my heart…
thank you
breathtaking. x
I’ve always held the belief that butterflies are spirits coming back to visit us…..whenever something in my life is troubling me or I’m feeling down, a butterfly is sure to appear. We lost our Pop’s beloved dog (Pop died five years ago) last week (she was 16) and my Mum wept as she told me that as they buried her a butterfly appeared and flew around them for a while then flew off again… makes me wonder about Ivy’s butterfly…. love your gorgeous processing on the photos. Marsha xx
Wow.
That was amazing, you’re too beautiful, as is Ivy :)
x
Amazing words and photos as always…
Beautiful. Simply breathtaking.
you know, they say that butterflies are people we’ve lost coming to visit us from heaven. how beautiful, then, was this moment.
With tears I read this Sheye….I truly think that Butterflies are those special to us dropping by to let us know they are thinking of us. xoxoxxoo Such a beautiful post,breathtaking photos. Sending many hugs .
I once knew an older gentleman in my neighborhood that had lost his wife and if he was ever outside in the summer, he always had a butterfly sitting on his shoulder. He knew it was his beloved wife.
Such beautiful pictures and writing!
Absolutely beautiful! You always bring tears to my eyes…
Butterflies are angels in disguise. This sent chills up and down my back. Sweet Ava…she wants to be near you and Ivy. Incredible.
You have captured so beautifully (again) the feelings. My little girl was born in spring and left us the following spring. While I find peace in spring’s rebirth, it also carries that nagging loneliness. I have no doubt that butterfly was captured to bring you comfort by giving you a still moment to reflect and remember. She is with you, that is obvious. Peace.
those photos are truly A*M*A*Z*I*N*G…you story gave me goosebumps. the butterfly was a gift for you and ivy to share a special moment…
enjoy everyday…
Whoa. Nature’s lessons are amazing. I wonder if that butterfly was hiding in the grass, inconspicuously hiding on the rim of the net and snuck off when you raised it into the air….
Sheye,
Wow. Incredible how you tied that together
so beautifully. It’s heart-breaking, but
beautiful at the same time.
gorgeous pix!
tara
That’s lovely…of course, I would have guessed that it was Ava visiting. I’ve seen many butterflies at special times since Katie’s passing…in California, in Italy, in France…they have appeared, to me, as signs of her spirit’s presence with us. May this appearance be a comfort to all of you!
one word: chills.
what a beautiful entry.
I have to learn not to read these at work. You posts are always so beautiful and touching , I am constantly find myself having to wipe away tears.
So beautiful and touching..
thank you.
and beautiful pics as usual :)
A moving, beautiful and tearful post. The photos, the words; they shot straight into my heart.
I always love to hear you write & this especially sent goosebumps all over me. There is no doubt in my mind that was Ava’s doing. She must miss you all as much as you do her.So very special are these moments she gives to you.
Toni x
I love this story, and I love the uplifting contributions in the comments! I have nothing original to add, but I’m always reading and thinking of your family fondly and rooting for you over here in my little corner of the world. Your family is beautiful, as are you, as are your photos, as is your writing, as is your beautiful Ava and her delicate butterfly.
Your words seem so effortless, so beautiful do they flow. Leaving me in awe and wonder. Beautiful.
Unbelievable, yet I believe completely. And I truly believe Ava is watching over all of you and with you always, and the butterfly is an outward sign. I know of another photographer who lost a young child, and she and her other child had a beautiful butterfly encounter too. But this one… just wow! Sweet, sweet, amazing Ava!
We’ve had some butterfly moments just like that. One moment with us to enjoy the fleeting ethereal beauty, and the next, just gone. That’s an excellent analogy, Sheye.
HUGS!
You are just the most amazing person I “know” through your blog and your personal story. Your writing is simply breathtaking and your pictures are astounding. Every day when I open my blog, I check if you have written anything. I always hope to see a new post from you. So please keep writing. We need it.
From one mother to another.. A tear.. We think we are here to teach the children, but in fact.. Our babies are here to teach us.
You see the world and your babies the way we are intended too, and for that, you are just as precious as they are xx
There is nothing more magical or amazing than a ‘flutter-by’
…. may you see a million more fluttering by.
love to you and your family x
Your pictures and your words bring tears to my eyes. They seem tinging with that blend of sadness and joy. Beautiful!
What a beautiful post. Life is fleeting and just as fragile as that butterfly. It’s bittersweet for you in many ways and for those of us who realize that we are not invincible. Thank you for such touching and heartfelt posts!
sheye… you got to see and touch the butterfly, even if only for a short while. you got to experience its beauty. even when you can no longer see the butterfly, you know it was there. you know you loved her with all your heart and for that your life is forever changed, as is mine and everyone whos lives she touched. your words are beautiful and so are the images of sweet ivy xxx
Rowe’s right…and thank you so much for sharing that with us Sheye.
{ gulp }
O Sheye…
You have taken my breath away with that post Sheye. I am absolutely speechless. <3 xo
Beautiful, but nothing new there…
And the words..oh the words..you have such a way with words. Lovely.
x
Yet another gift from your gorgeous girl.
This is perhaps my favourite entry of your blog yet. Beautiful xxx
Sheye my heart skipped a beat when you spoke of the butterfly disappearing, and her.
You amaze me
My husband always knows when I am reading your blog. Your words and pictures, your story, take my breath away each time I am here and he hears me gasp out loud before the tears roll. I recount your posts with him and we always share a moment together of gratefulness for all that we have, and a moment of hope and hugs for you, your family and sweet Ava. Thanks for sharing your beautiful butterfly moment.
Every time i read something you post. Tears of happiness. and Tear of saddness. Its like i realize something new everything you post and i love it. That was a beautiful statement. You picture tell a million stories. I’ve been in your place. My bestfriend comminted suicide five months ago. But it feels like i just blinked when i missed it.
-Zoella
I have been there, too. My own child’s spirit comes and goes like that….I believe.
The butterflies have been all around us since Elliana left us… That was a beautiful post and beautiful pictures. A little beauty from heaven and miss Ava I think!
I LOVE the texture on these photos!! Plus, I think butterflies are such an amazing creation!
I visit your blog just to see you ‘doin’ it and remind myself that I can go on … and I can get through … I can do it too … even on the days there are no butterflies to catch.
Stunning photos Sheye!!!
This account gave me goose bumps!
What colour was the butterfly? For some reason I picture it to be white!
LL Nat:~)
Ivy looks like a beautiful butterfly herself. I can just visualise Ivy just as beautiful even without being on a photo. The story of catching butteflies is just as beautiful as catching faries. According to me Grandma butterflies, dragon flies and ladybugs are faries. =]
Beautiful words and photos as always. My favorite butterfly moment was at an indoor butterfly garden. Inside there are hundreds of butterflies of all colors and sizes. If you hold still they will land on you for a while. It felt like a magical world.
And I’ll forget the world I knew
But I swear I won’t forget you
Oh if my voice could reach back through years
I’d whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here.
-Owl City
Praying for you Miss Sheye.
You are an inspiration. Thank you.
I spent Olivia’s naptime re-living Ava’s life. I went back and read every single one of her posts, looked at every single one of her pictures, clicked through her memorial website, and pondered.
So many of your early posts reflect things I have felt and written.
I used to take pictures, too. I have so, so many of Gavin. I stopped after he died. I only took a few required ones to put off feelings of guilt, but I didn’t enjoy it anymore.
Olivia is one now. I’ve been scared, too. Too scared. Every day, every night. I don’t want to admit that I love her with all the reckless abandon and fervor that I loved Gavin with…because what if I lost her, too?
I miss losing myself in that love. I think I’m ready to enjoy again. Thank you for the inspiration. Thank you for sharing Ava.
*hug*
~Bethany
Gavin’s mom
Usually I go to a photographer’s website and my heart fills with awe at their talent, creativity and passion. Here, my heart broke a little for your sweet Ava, and for you. What a breathtaking beauty she is, and what an unfair number of “I love you’s” you had together in this life. From a mother of 4 – 3 princesses and one rough and tumble boy – I am sending you stranger-hugs from across the world from smalltown Connecticut (a suburb of New York City)
You are brave, and so unbelievably positive. And you and Ava are touching so many lives..even just in me wanting to get up tomorrow and hug my sweeties tighter and warn them of the dangers in everyday things, and teach them what to do then. From the bottom of my heart, Thank you.
And your pictures?
They take my breath away. They capture what this life is truly about…I think you got it LONG before Ava. Keep capturing that sweetness with what God gave you for other parents.
Hope your winter down there is as lovely as the Dogwoods almost in full bloom here. May you continue to find peace and love.
Keri
Thank you.
This post absolutely gave me chills, it is beyond beautiful.
I wish you would post more often, I love everything you have to say and the photos that go along with it. My greatest hugs from a stranger afar are being sent to you tonight, with all the love possible to pass through a computer screen.