unknowing.
In the still and the dark of night. I thought she was sleeping. Her little voice startled me.
Mummy?
Yes honey?
Why did Ava leave her bike here?
Because she couldn’t take it with her.
Why did my sister not take all of her things?
Because she doesn’t need them in Heaven. She has everything she needs.
Does she have a kitchen?
I think she probably does.
Does she have a bed?
I’m sure she does.
And does she have a tutu?
Oh yes, she has a tutu.
Does she have two or five?
I think she has as many as she wants.
Mum, how does Ava get back here?
Honey, Ava can’t get back here.
Why? I am waiting for her to come back.
Because, because when babies are made, they wait in Heaven and ..
Mum, do you have tears?
Yes darling I do.
Why?
Because we miss Ava very much.
I miss her too.
I know darling. When babies are made they wait in Heaven and then they are given to their Mummies like you and Luca and Mason were given to me too but Ava had to go back to Heaven when she was three and we miss her very much. But we will all get to see her again in Heaven one day.
When you and Daddy and me and Luca and Mason see Ava again I’m going to tell her I’m four. Will she be little or big?
She will be little, I think.
Can I pick her up? Because I am four?
Yes, you probably could. But you will be much older than four when you see her. We will live a long time together here first and then we will get to see her.
But what will happen to our house?
We won’t need it in Heaven.
Is she like a small baby or a little bit bigger?
A little bit bigger, like when you were three just before.
Oh. Will we be very old?
We probably will be old.
Will we have moles? Because I don’t want moles.
No, we won’t.
Will Ava have moles?
No darling, she won’t.
Her questions make my heart race. Never ready. I’m still trying to work out the answers myself. I still stare at her bike at our back door and I still don’t understand.
This
is
all
so
much
bigger
than
me.
Hugs to you all.
God Bless you and your family, Sheye.
Ava is looking down, wathcing over you all.
And she’s proud, without a doubt. :)
you and your family are of constant inspiration. thank you for your bravery in taking on such a difficult subject matter and your candor in revealing how you get through each day. you are beautiful and so is your work. ava would be proud indeed.
Your answers were both honest and thoughtful. Your love for Ava is so tangible, even across the internet. I’m moved by the way you honor her.
Only love xx
I love this conversation. Children can be so incredibly perceptive and your answers are wonderful.
Thank you for sharing. Much love to your family. xx
speechless, yet so full of love and emotion…..hugs to you xoxo
Our thoughts are with you and your family.
Ang xx
Im sorry abuot you princeass and I hope you see Ava again Love Ena And Nicki
Im sorry abuot you princeass and I hope you see Ava again.
Sending love & big hugs for you & Ivy…. xxx
Sheye, your answers could not have been more perfect and beautiful. Wishing that you never had the need for this conversation and sending hugs and love to you, Crayton and the kids xx K
Sending lots of hugs for little Ivy and of course for you. Such hard questions from a little girl and so emotional. You remind me to always live in the moment and love my children and not sweat the little stuff as we don’t know how much time we have together. Prayers always to your family and you are always in my mind as is Ava’s little face! Beautiful Princess Ava. Lots of Love from Southern California, Lorena lmora187@yahoo.com
I can’t image loosing a child let alone trying to help my other kids understand it. You do it with grace. Your kids are very lucky to have such a lovely mom. :)
This is so sad and so sweet it makes me want to cry. You answered her questions so well. Love to you and your familyxx
Remember when Ivy kissed Ava’s photograph in the kitchen? She was so young, but she knows Sheye, she remembers and none of us will ever forget.
x
Oh & I meant to add, I can just about hear Ivy asking you those questions…I love how she speaks in whispers
Loveyou
x
it is beautiful that she is waiting on her sister.
Ivy is such a little darling, bless her heart.
So sweet…they know so much more than we expect from something so little…we had a dear friend bury his seven year old son this week – our hearts have been heavy…when the time is right, I will point them to your blog because you give hope to so many who have experienced the loss of a little one…God bless you Sheye…pray that you have a Merry Christmas!
I don’t have words.
I have only tears and love for you. Ivy. Ava.
xx
Sending you love….
Sheye…….
Love & many many hugs xo
My heart breaks for you Sheye,
but that is exactly how I would have
answered her questions too. I am so sorry
you have to go through this, it just doesn’t seem
fair. Sending you lots of love.
tara pakosta
Sheye, you answered all those questions in a very good manner. Thank you,Sheye and family, for making me love everyday more, and adding a bounce to my step. God bless you and your family, best wishes for you all.
Nicki <3
This is so completely sad.
But so completely touching as well.
May much love surround you & your family right now.
Ava is dancing in her tutus above, for sure.
Sending hugs. xx
You are so very brave.Inspirational. Wonderful. I can’t help but think Ava smiles thinking of the day you’re all together again, too.
Many hugs and hope.
Our daughter Mary Clare was two when she went to heaven in her sleep…no warning just a fever and a cough. Our son was 2 months old and is now 3.5 and beginning to ask similar questions. I dread so many of them. Why didn’t she wake up….will I not wake up….will Becket (our newest son) not wake up….just makes my heart hurt to think of the worries he might have so young. He told my sad husband the other day that when we get to heaven we won’t have to be sad anymore because we will get to be with Mary Clare again forever….from the mouths of babes it brings tears and sometimes peace.
A photographer friend (from the US) shared your blog with me two or so years ago and I find you say things in a way that I wish I could or have thought or would love to shout to my family and friends. Thanks for being real….I sometimes wish I had blogged after MC left us…, but not sure I would be as brave as you.
My princess loved tea parties too….I pray to have another girl someday so I can celebrate her as you do your sweet Ava.
Many hugs and prayers from Texas.
Sincerely,
Stephanie
My dad passed away from cancer this past Sunday and the children had so many questions about grandpa-daddy and where he was, I can just imagine the many difficult queries to come as they grow and consider. You handled it all beautifully, though I know it seems huge and overwhelming. What a gift that Ivy has grown up knowing her sister and feeling their bond. *hugs*
And I’m sure of very little in this mysterious world of ours, I’m very, very sure that Ava has a tutu in every colour ever imagined.
Tears are streaming. You are a great mom. Your answers are perfect. My heart goes out to you and your family. Thank you for sharing your profound moments.
Sheye-I think there are many things bigger than all of us….one of them is the bond between your gorgeous girls,I think Ava would be so very proud of her mummy and family. You are so courageous, and Ivy is a beautiful little soul. Thinking of you at this difficult time of year, knowing there is a super-princess in heaven watching her family as she twirls in a pink tutu, remembering just how much she is loved.Thankyou Sheye , for your honesty, and sharing these things that are so special for you. xoxox
The only thing I can do is open my heart as wide as it will go and send every bit of love I’ve got, to you, to Ava and to those darling children of yours who will know Ava because you are honest and gentle with them and their questions.
J.
Sheye,
I read this post early today, I had to close it and wait to comment, I couldn’t think of the right words to express how this post made me feel.
I had tears streaming. But was also smiling. Ivy’s innocent wonderings. Your perfect answers. You are such an inspiration to everyone. especially me.
It is lovely how Ivy is waiting for her big sister. I admire your strength and courage in answering Ivy’s questions, not wanting her to forget but also not wanting her to hurt.
The way you word everything is just… perfect.
Merry Christmas.
Sending you and the family lots of love and hugs.
Emma
xxxx
Your answers are just perfect! Sending your family the best holiday wishes. XO.
Aww Sheye :(
Hugs to you and your family and may you all be a happy family again one day. But only when you are all old and with no moles :)
Merry Christmas Rosemeyers!!
Love & best wishes
Rissa xx
hemmm….I have to prepare to get that questions…
Sheye, your conversation is so touching, I had tears running down. My daughter is also asking the “w – questions” already and I can imagine that it isn’t that easy to find the right answer. You did a great job there with Ivy! I am sure Ava will be missed today but I am also sure, she is watching down to you and watching over you as a little angel from Heaven!
I wish you and your family Merry Christmas and a great time together!!!
All the best from far Germany to Australia :)
Hugs,
Brigitte & Family
Thank you for sharing this with us Sheye. It really does give one a perspective! Your post that you share with little Ivy are always intriguing and truly reminds us of the innocents of a child’s mind.
God bless you, Clayton, Luca, Mason, Ivy, all of your family and little Angel Ava especially during this holiday season. Our thoughts and prayers will continue to be with you from our family to yours!
Take care and much love from our family to yours!
Happy Holidays… Thompson Family.
It may be bigger than you, yet you handle it as well as you can, and that is more than enough.
May your family have a Merry (and Mole free) Christmas.
I think Ava is never far away from you and Ivy Sheye, and I think her tutus have real stars on them so they twinkle when she dances…
Oh Sheye
As I read your post line by line my breaths became quicker and quicker, my heart was racing and the tears rolled. Your words always have a profound way touching my inner being. Thankyou.
My love, my prayers and my soul are thinking of your whole family, especially at Christmas.
God bless your beautiful soul
Sarah
xxoo
Love to you Sheye,Crayton,Luca,Mason & Ivy
Thinking of you xoxo
This road you have to travel seems so unfair. I wish I could write words to give you comfort but I can only say ‘thank you’ for sharing. So, thank you, Sheye.
Such perfect answers! Such a heartbreaking conversation. I hope that comfort and love surround you this Christmas. Thank you for sharing your heartache and your stories.
Sheye… I have been thinking about you and Ava so much tonight. How you do it I just don’t know.
Sending you so much love…
X
Sheye, I simply cannot imagine how you were able to try to answer Ivy’s questions and yet you did it with so much grace. My daughter, Peyton, turned 3 on Friday and all I could think of was Ava. Sending you and your family all my love and best wishes for a Merry Christmas. Know that Ava is on all of our minds and in our hearts today and all throughout the year.
Much love from NJ,
Sue
xoxo
I have tears now too.
Much love to you and your family this season, and all seasons.
We’re thinking of you over here in Philadelphia :)
Oh, Sheye thank you so much for sharing this your conversation with Ivy here. I have tears in my eyes. Wow. Ivy’s questions and your answers are almost like a little kiss from Ava reminding you that she’ll always be a part of you all and that she’s patiently waiting for all of you in heaven until you can be together again. Wishing much love to you and your amazing family during this holiday season.
Merry Christmas Sheye, for you and your beautiful family.
Merry Christmas Ava, you’re a beautiful little girl for the eternity.
Love from France
lisou
sheye, i wish you and your family a very merry christmas, and may God continue to bless you. may ivy continue to cherish her sister and ask questions that will keep ava’s sweet little memory alive. may you continue to keep her near to your heart so that you will never forget the curve of her face or the smell of her hair, no matter how many years pass until you meet again in heaven. thank you for sharing with us and for being so so brave. i have a 4-year-old as well, and her questions baffle me, confound me, and make me laugh. our babies are such blessings, earthbound or in heaven. much love!!
amy
(ps, thx for the sale on the beauty full action set. just purchased and downloaded. can’t wait to go play!!!!!!)
I don’t know that we could ever truly understand the “why’s” but you did an amazing job answering Ivy’s questions. It reminded me of the conversation I had with my 7 year old nephew after his Daddy (my brother) passed away last month. He said that he believed that God brought his Daddy back to heaven early so that he could help pick apple trees in heaven. He also asked me if I thought there were playgrounds in heaven so his Daddy could play and have fun. The innocence of children never fails to amaze me.
Merry Christmas to you and your family. And here’s to plenty of tutu’s and playgrounds in heaven.
xoxo,
Amber
But even in your unknowing, you answered Ivy so beautifully and honestly. What a wonderful home you have made for your family. Hugs, and a beautiful Christmas to your family here and in heaven.
Sheye, thank you so much for this extract of beauty. It touched me and many others. Leah x
She knows. She knows because Ava comes to her. In her own way. A special way meant just for Ivy. Death doesn’t separate. It alters and changes and physically distances, but never separates. Ava is still as big of a part of you as she was before. Even bigger I believe. Some days I think we were not meant to know the answers, but to live them. I’m carrying you today darling and every other. I share in your missing of the things that should have been…
All my love, K xo
Oh how we’ve been there. Oh we’ve been there. “But I miss Hannah, I want her to come back and be with me.” “I don’t want to die and leave you, Mommy. When will I die?” Questions and statements others never have to face or deal with. I’m so so sorry.
Much love to you Sheye as our girlies celebrate another Christmas together, wreaking havoc all over, I’m sure. :o) HUGS!
My words are so inadequate, I have read your story and followed your blog, all wondering WHEN would be the right time to say something. You aren’t just words typed on a blog, you are a mother and woman and someone I admire.
My heart breaks for you… and rejoices in the promise of the days you will have in Heaven. I can’t imagine the pain of the questions Ivy asks you… all the questions you have yourself.
It is so much bigger than all of us, but you have the prayers of all of us… hundreds lifting your family up in prayers and believing in the eternity you’ll share.
I am so sorry… and God Bless you.
(hugs)
When my daughter, Gracie, passed away, she was 4-almost 5-and her twin sisters were 2. They are now 3-almost 4-and asking similar questions. “When is Gracie coming home?” “Will we see Gracie again?” “Am I going to die when I’m 4 too?” They are so difficult to face.
Thinking of you and your family forever.
thinking of you.
a lot.
thinking of you.
a lot.
Yes. Bigger.
But so, so much more powerful than anyone could ever imagine. Ivy is one smart cookie. I bet she has one of the brightest angels looking over her. Hugs!!
my wish for all of you is…peace. pure and simple, like the openess and honesty that you shared with ivy and share with all in your writings.
without presuming…i think that would be your sweet ava’s wish too…peace.
~love~
I have had a similar courageous conversation with my son when he was 3. We lost a dear cousin and uncle to Dimitri in a car accident. At the time Dimitri had so many questions about heaven just like Ivy. The one that brought a smile to my face was, “Is there a toilet in heaven?”
Sweet thoughts and blessings to you and to yours during this time. I can only imagine the mixture of happy and missing today. Hugs, lots of hugs from me and my boys.
oh sheye… i could not read past the first two sentences when i came to your blog yesterday cause i got so emotional and it wanted to read in peance. having read it tonight… i cried so many tears… not many words i can say but hugs to you and ivy xxx
Sheye, I have no words. Sending love and hugs, and admiration for your wisdom, strength and courage. Love Sherri XO
I really have no words…I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you much love and thinking of you this Christmas.
Oh Sheye! God bless you and your family!
Sheye, I think that someday you should put your blog posts together in book form.
Merry Christmas Sheye, your words, your wit and your emotions always touch my heart. Thank you for sharing yourself through your blog. Thank you for keeping it real. xoxo
Hiya Sheye, what a gut-wrenching, honest, innocent, emotional conversation you had w/ the gorgeous & inquisitive Ivy. Precious.
Sheye.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful but sad conversation between you and Ivy. Elisabeth ask me over and over again, to tell her the story about her and her angel in heaven. The light she saw and the clothes she took off. This is the story you were telling about, wasn’t it?? Beautiful, anyway….
Wish you All the best for Christmas and the New Year to come.
Sheye-I have wanted to comment for so long…I can’t help it after this post. And there are 72 comments before mine. Do you read them all? At least, I’ll know I’ve finally posted!! I am inspired by you. My life has changed because of little Ava–and you. Your beautiful words help me be a better mother and appreciate every moment with my children.
My daughter, Aislee had so many questions about heaven when she turned four. It was so hard to answer. Thankfully that phase of her life is over, and she knows one day we’ll go to heaven, and everything will be okay. But the questions she would ask me were so hard to answer. She finally gave up…and said…Mommy, will you please ride with me to heaven?
I know you’ll see Ava again, (I can’t wait for you) and you’ll live forever with her. Families are forever. I KNOW that.
Reading this post brought tears to my eyes, happy tears and sad tears. I wish so badly that you had your Ava. Happy tears because every post you write teaches me how to really love my kids. With every fiber of my being, no matter what. Thank you for sharing, you inspire so many with your love and courage.
but, your answers are wonderful.
so much love.
jules xo
I’d give anything to be able to wrap my arms around you. Always thinking of you and Ava. Always.
You are amazing Mrs. Sheye…..reading your post I smiled and cried. You.ARE.Amazing!!! xoxo-Erica
HUGS…
Love and hugs to you. I wish Ava was still here, she is so loved and missed even by those that don’t know her. Words are so inadequate. xxx
sigh, there are no words to say to this. I hope God continues to help you answer these heartbreaking questions, keep writing them down as never to forget you will be able to give them to Ivy someday when she is grown. she is so precious!
i read this. and then i read it out loud to my husband and couldn’t finish it because reading it out loud the tears came. you are so beautiful and wonderful and eloquent with your words. the innocent questions of a little sister. i wish you peace in 2010. xo
I’m so sorry. Such heart-wrenching questions from young minds come at the most unexpected times and in the most unexpected of ways. Our little boy never grew old enough to ride a bike or to know his big sister or even his little sister, but the questions are still there.
Will she have moles?
Only kids can make you laugh cry and want to scream in the one conversation. So gorgeous it hurts.
Happy New Year Sheye! I hope that god grants you all the answers you need to fill you with peace and give you all the comfort you need…How precious is Ivy’s questions and the the remembering she still has!..What a blessing that God gave her, her own precious memeories to share with you about Ava…ox
Hello, I just looked over your blog for the first time. I am terribly sorry for you loss. What a beautiful inspiration of hope. I have an almost 4 year old and although it’s 1 am here I am going to go into her room and hug her, just because.
I will also send a prayer to Heaven for you and your family.
Tiffany
crying. xx
Oh Sheye, the twins often ask me questions like this about Ava, and I never quite know what to say.
The girls were still very little, but they do remember the balloons we sent to heaven and the conversations about her are very much alive.
My heart aches for you and Crayton. Big Hugs from us all.
Lots of Love, Sylvia
thank you for sharing ..
this conversation made me cry
I felt a bit of everything in this post including much sadness but gosh I chuckled a little at the end
Will we have moles? Because I don’t want moles.
No, we won’t.
Only through a child can we get this simplicity and clarity about all things that are important.
I think about you all and Ava everyday.
k8 xxx
She is there waiting for you no doubt. What a great day that will be to see her again!
Hi Sheye,
I love reading about all the love you have for your children and especially little Ava. We had a loss of a little boy in our family. You say you are still trying to figure out the answers but you’ve got it right. You will be all together again and be able to finish raising Ava as if you didn’t miss a day. That is what keeps us going and striving here on earth. Don’t you just love how simple children make life sound? I want to be more childlike. Big hugs and thoughts and prayers are being sent your way. You are wonderful and inspire so many! May this new year bring you nothing but joy and happiness! http://www.lds.org
You are an inspiration! Each of those questions were answered so simply and beautifully. God bless you and your family. :)
I am so glad I have found your blog today. It is so lovely to see someone else who celebrates the life of their lost child. When I lost my son I was determined to focus on the time he was with us, to celebrate the fun times we shared with him and to be thankful for what we had. I try very hard not to dwell on all the things we are missing.
I have 3 girls now, 18, 6 & 4. The two youngest never knew their brother but talk of him all the time. They tell people they have a brother in heaven and this makes me smile.
I was talking to my 4 yo, Olivia, about the coming Toy Story 3 movie and was explaining to her that Toy Story was Marks favourite movie. She asked me…
“Mummy, will God take Mark to the movies to see Toy Story”…
and I replied
“I think he will sweetheart!”
thoughts are with you :) and your family it must be hard to have lost such an amazing little girl. she will be missed and loved by all
Such beautiful answers. All the love in this world to you and your family. Always, your family is always on my mind.
I only know you through your blog, but you are such a great person! I admire your strength and I admire that you can admit when you are sad. What an amazing conversation to have with your little girl.
Today is my best friend’s “my sister in heaven” birthday. It has been 8 years since she passed away and we were in college. I wasn’t a young child, but I think death is hard to understand no matter what age we are. You answered your baby girl’s questions beautifully. And I KNOW with out any doubt in my mind that your sweet Ava is waiting for you in Heaven and that she is in a place of beauty and happiness beyond comprehension with our Loving Heavenly Father! She is there with my Camille and many others and oh what great comfort that knowledge brings!! It is especially comforting to me to know that death cannot separate us for long, because after we die we will all be able to be reunited with those who have gone before. I send my love to you and your family!
God Bless!
Sarah
If you want to know what I know, go here: http://www.mormon.org
You must know you’re strong and a survivor if you can answer those questions. I hope you are doing well.
Oh… I can’t really think of what to say… half of me feels so sad, half of me feel so *struggles for right word* (and fails really)… but it’s reassuring/comforting/gladdening that Ivy remembers her sister, wants to remember Ava and can ask about her – and that you can give her such lovely answers even though it must be so hard to xx
[...] 2010 · Leave a Comment Sheye Rosemeyer, an Australian mother and photographer. Despite the heartache she and her family have endured, she has an amazing ability to keep going, create beauty and [...]
[...] a reminder, each day should be used to celebrate the ones you love not just Valentine’s [...]
God bless you and your family. Thank you so much for sharing this touching conversation – kids are so wonderfully honest and really take us THERE with their questions. So so hard.
i could hardly read your post. i cried like i knew her and you and your family. my heart and prayers are with you. God bless you and keep you. Bask in the love of our Lord.
*sigh* im so sorry Sheye wish i could do something but i cant very touching heartbreaking post.Ava is happy where she is she has alot of little friends (cause they are alot like her that are gone too soon) She`s now dancing with the angels and watching over Ivy,Lucas,Mason,daddy and mummy.
~XxxxX~