Six.
I’m hanging out washing. Taking in the crisp of the air and the blue of the sky which today seem strange and new and amplified. Only a little bit earlier on this clear August morning, it seems my waters broke. Not in a dramatic dear God get an ambulance the baby is coming kind of broke but enough to make me gather my pink rose pyjamas and clary sage oil. I ring her Daddy at kindy. Come home quickly, I say. And quickly, he does.
We travel down the highway. Forty minutes of excited chatter & nervous imagining. The knowing that we’re leaving our home a family of four for the last time. It’s my due date but more significantly, it’s the date Crayton’s mum left us, three years earlier. It feels right that I would be birthing on this day. I’ve waited so long to meet her. I am ready.
“You’re not ready”, the midwife tells us. Not yet. And still not after seven hours of walking and talking and willing and wishing. I ring my far away sister. “Please come. Please bring your blue cohosh and your massage hands and your calm. I need you. Come quickly”. And not very quickly at all it seems, she comes.
We walk that entire hospital. Inside and out. Moon shining bright, up stairs and down hills. With gritted teeth and willpower, real labor begins. It’s ten pm.
I sway. In her Daddy’s arms I’m rocking and breathing and almost believing I can do this. I’ve forgotten to unpack the oil. The soft music has been switched off. It’s one am.
The waves come and go and I’m not very sure any more and when I reach a point where I can no longer do this, I move to the bath. Angie tells me how well I’m doing while I’m pleading for it to be over, for her to be out, for anything to make it stop. I contemplate drowning myself. It is six am.
And then she is. Black hair, olive skin, eyes wide open. Finally, she is. I can barely hold her, I can barely believe. My dear, darling girl. My Ava.
Today, you would have become six. I can not greet you with a special hug. I cannot sing to you this day. I will not make your favorite breakfast nor see you open your gifts. It the day of your birth, but not a birthday, as we know it. You can not celebrate beside us but even still, we will forever cherish the day you came to be.
Happy Birthday, Superprincess Ava.
Love Mummy.
xxxxxxx
146 shared sentiments
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Happy birthday darling Ava, you are in our thoughts today as we share a special tea party in your honour
xxx
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thank you Ava for changing my life… for showing me what is important… for teaching me to laugh more, love more and live more.
many kisses for you, your beautiful mummy and your family.
today and always…
jules xo
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Ava…. happy birthday sweet princess and to you Sheye, Happy Birthing Day xxxxx
Six sparkly candles are burning all day today for you princess. You are forever in our hearts.
Love Vanessa and Kara xxxxxx
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thinking of you today, more than ever. wishing you peace and a celebration of sorts. love to Ava and all of you on her special day…
xx
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Sheye, thinking of you and your family so much today. We are going down by the water this afternoon for our pink tea party where we will honour Ava. I have a feeling there will be a magical sunset on this day with lots of splashes of pink. Sending lots of love. xx
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Thinking of you today. Thank you for sharing your sweet Ava with us. She has made a difference in so many lives. {{{HUGS}}}
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Happy birthday miss ava, thinking of you and your family at this time XXXXX
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Thinking of you Sheye–happy birthday sweet Ava. xoxo
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Thinking of you and Ava today. I’m grateful she did have a Happy birth-day. And that she is now a part of your family into the eternities because of that special day. Of course, I wish you could be drinking HER in the way she was drinking YOU in that day six years ago! Just tangibly holding her. I hope you’ve felt a special comfort today as a little gift.
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What a lovely remembrance of your daughter.
God is celebrating with her today :)
Hugs, Jenny
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Even though I’ve been following your blog for about 2 years (??), I never realized that 8/22 was Ava’s birthday. It’s my birthday too. I am honored to be able to share the day with your precious girl. May she always be remembered with tea parties and hearts full of love <3
If I have a little girl, we will have a tea party on this day every year. I hope parents keep this tradition going strong for many years to come.
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Happy 6th Birthday Princess Ava.
Thinking of you,all our love.
Dee,Chris,Ty,Niki,Matty and Sascha xxxx
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Thinking of you and your family on this bitterweet day. You are a beautiful person Sheye.
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Happy Birthday Super Princess
You will never be forgotten.
With all our love, Sylvia
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my heart is broken almost each time I come here … so I do not very often .. but I hold a special place for you and Ava in my heart … love
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Happy Birthday Ava, thinking of you and your family Sheye on this bittersweet day. We have had a tea party in Ava’s honour and we only wish your little super princess was here to celebrate her sixth birthday with you. Our hearts go out to you, we have never met, but your blog has touched me in a way I never expected and has made me stop and cherish the moment more often…
xxxx
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(((hugs))) I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts today.
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happy birthday sweet princess ava!!! ive been thinking of you alot this week and today we will have a tea party to honour your gorgeous spirit…
thanks for your beautiful words sheye, touching as always!
hugs and kisses,
rowe and audrey x
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I will carry You in my thoughts today…
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Thinking of you and yours here in Oregon as I sip my cup of tea today, Sheye.
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I’ll be thinking of you and your family today. I’m planning to have pink tea and a pink sweet with my daughter. I gave her an extra big morning hug and thought of Ava. She gets an extra Ava hug everyday now, but today was a special birthday hug for your beauty full girl.
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Happy Birthday sweet Ava!!! Beautiful words & as always…. so touching!! Sheye you have been in my thoughts so much today, we had an afternoon tea in honour of Ava, a tradititon I plan on doing for many years to come…. & today more so than ever…. I am truly grateful for my beautiful family & I treasure every moment I have with them & never take those moments for granted!
Much love to you Sheye & your beautiful family…Love,
t. xxxx
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you are an amazing and brave woman, my mother heart reaches out to you at this timeXX
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Happy Birthday to Ava! Thinking of you and Ava much today.
We had the most beautiful tea party this afternoon in honor of Ava. Sofia asked who we should sing happy birthday to and when I told her Ava, she proceeded to sing the entire song three times, complete with “happy birthday to eeAva”. A few minutes later she said, “Mommy, I love eeAVA”.
Here a few pictures from our party this afternoon.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/partybella/sets/72157622108439762/
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Sheye, along with celebrating Ava’s birthday with a pink filled tea party’
I also made her this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzf1iqB0kkc
Happy Birthday again Ava.
xoxo
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Happy Birthday dear Ava. The girls had a 4th birthday party to attend today so lots of fairy bread, bickies, and cupcakes were on hand and lovingly eaten. Thinking of you and your familiy. Hugs and kisses Sheye. Love, Kylie x
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Happy Birthday Swwet Beauty full girl. You made an enormous amazing impact on this world in you short time. We are forever gratefull and full of love for you. Comfort your Mummy & Daddy today. xxxxxxxxxxx
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Much love to you & your family on this special birthing day Sheye.
Be proud of what you gave to this world in your amazing little girl.
Wishing you peace.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BEAUTY FULL SUPERPRINCESS!!!!
xxx
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Happy Birthday to precious Ava! Thinking of you and Ava much today. Please know that you have made such an impact on our life!
We had the most beautiful tea party this afternoon in honor of Ava. Sofia asked who we should sing happy birthday to and when I told her Ava, she proceeded to sing the entire song three times, complete with “happy birthday to eeAva”. A few minutes later she said, “Mommy, I love eeAVA”.
Here a few pictures from our party this afternoon…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/partybella/sets/72157622108439762/
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Happy birthday darling girl xxxx
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Wishing Ava a happy heavenly birthday and some comforting memories for your family of the times you did share with her here on earth. What a beautiful birth shot of darling Ava, I love those kinds of photos so special!
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Happy Birthday Ava! we’ll be having a little teaparty in your honour this afternoon in our playroom here in Brazil. xxxx
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Happy Birthday beautiful Ava. I will be thinking of you and your family. Today is my son’s 4th birthday as well. There will be an extra piece of cake today.
Mandy
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Happy day of birth, Ava…
My daughter and I shared extra special cuddles today. We had a tea party with pink play dough cakes today, for you.
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I just gave my own two princesses a tearful hug…. Gonna have our tea and muffins for breakfast. Big hugs to you and your family x
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Happy birthday beautiful Ava.
Happy birthing day, Sheye. I’m left without words and lots of tears. Many many HUGS.
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Happy birthday Ava! I hope your cake is very, very pink today.
I had a tiny little tea-party for you.
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Smiles, tea, cuddles, pink cupcakes, tears, and prayers on the agenda today in honor of your sweet Superprincess, Ava and your whole beautiful family!! So happy we know you and your post just made my morning! Absolutely the most precious picture of brand new Ava. What a birth too! I smiled when you talked of Blue Cohosh… at some point we are ready to try it all to get our dear ones out!! :) Love to you Sheye!!!! (will send pictures later)
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Happy Birthday gorgeous Ava! Hope you lvoe all the pin tea parties. YOu have inspired me more than anyone can possibly do. Thank you Sheye for sharing your thoughts and memories with us. May God bless the superprincess and your family on this day.
Much love,
Karen
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Thinking of you and yours and your darling Superprincess.
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Happy Birthda Ava.
Thinking of you all x
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i am thinking of your family today sheye, and may your heavenly birthday be beatiful miss ava!
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Having a daughter named Ava and a similar birthstory (born september 2003), I cannot extend enough to you and your family how inspiring and strong I think you are and how blessed I feel that you have shared this story with me. I will be wishing you peace today and avery, merry, happy birthday to your Ava!
super hugs!!!!!!
danielle
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whoops!! not sure how it signed me in under the Sarah Wheeler above-weird!!!
I’m Danielle at cococricketsmama.typepad.com
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Happy Birthday dear sweet Ava. I hope that you are looking down on your Mommy and family today. They are going to need your strength today so please guide them along and sit upon their shoulders and lift the heavy burden they carry in their hearts.
God bless you beautiful girl.
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Happy Birthday sweet little Ava!
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Your sweet family and your darling superprincess have been on my mind so much these past couple of days. Thinking of ya’ll and keeping you close at heart and in prayer. Happy Birthday to the sweet girly girl. Love, Jenna
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I love seeing in frames, I love the beauty in the ordinary, I love my camera, I love that when I see images I hear too. I love the latelight, I love finding moments I didn’t imagine and I love creating moments I did. I love learning more every day, I love sharing what I’ve come to know, and I love making pictures pretty.
I’m so glad you stopped by. xx
Happy Birthday Super Princess Ava.
You and your famiy are in my thoughts today and everyday Sheye.
We will be soon eating and drinking all sorts of pink goodies for our own special party for Ava.
Emma
xxx