59 sentiments shared

The Brown Couch.

In 1999, moving into a new apartment,  we also bought a new lounge.  It was my first purchase of a large furniture item with my husband – we’d previously combined our own goods and chattels into one abode.   It was very exciting, and daunting, and it took me a long time to decide but eventually I settled on the Newport 3 seater in Taupe with Peppercorn cushions and teak legs.    

The reason I’m writing about this rather banal topic is that today,  ten years on,  we threw our lounge away. This is not the first time we have waved good bye to the brown couch.  In February last year, we donated it to the Salvation Army.  Two men came in a truck and indeed, left with it.  As they loaded our lounge into that van, I felt my heart start to hurt and my eyes began to sting and by the time they were heading down our driveway, I began to sob.  I realized I’d made a terrible mistake and not half an hour later,  I rang those poor people and asked for our tired, stained, wonderful lounge back.  

It’s not that we needed it – quite the contrary.  We have two other much nicer lounges since bought and this one simply takes up room we don’t have.   But you see,  it was the memories.   I thought of all the conversations..the thousands of nights I sat discussing life and love and fears and dreams with my husband..the contemplating of more children, the stresses of work, the plans for renovations and travel.   The wine and gossip with friends, the Christmases with family, the many hours spent heavily pregnant and unable to sleep…all right there on the brown couch.

The visions of our children, from babies to boys and girls..the giggling and bickering and spilling of cereal.  The early morning cuddles and the late nights with a sick toddler right alongside.   The watching them unwrap birthday presents and rummage through Eater eggs from those very seats.

I thought of the breastfeeding.  It sounds odd I guess but this stood out to me more than almost everything else.  I’ve spent over three years of my life breastfeeding and much of that was right in that lounge.  With Dr Phil by day and Cheaters re-runs by night, I’d settle in for the long haul.  

Hardest of all..   The hours before we lost Ava, I sat with her on that lounge, we read toy catalogues, we laughed, we watched tv. Much of my last day with her was spent right there.  And when her Dad carried her through the house not two hours later, willing her to open her eyes, to breathe, to be okay – he laid her there.    The significance of that lounge being the very last place Ava rested her head in our home was more than I could ignore.  

So, for all of those reasons and so  many more, I got our lounge back.  We were all so happy to see it’s grubby self re-installed in our home.   And the kids continued to spill their cereal and laugh and bicker on it but almost a year on, today was the day I could let it go.   It really has gone well beyond the call of duty and it’s time for something much more child friendly and less shabby.    

All five of us pushed it outside, the kids protested and pleaded for it to stay which resulted in a last minute family meeting right there on the brown couch, beside the rubbish skip with the sun going down.  Our compromise was to let the boys keep a cushion each to be recovered and with heavy hearts, we all agreed the time was right.  I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still toying with the idea of pulling it back inside but I know it’s just another baby step that’s a little more like a stumble and soon the sadness will pass.

Farewell, brown couch. We loved you well.

Love, Sheye x

(*Note – Mason is actually clothed. Not a lot of clothing, but it’s there somewhere).

1. lisa jordan says:

   Watching your baby steps forward is both beautiful and heart wrenching. You have such strength and inner beauty, your words so piercing, taking us all straight to the emotion. Thankyou for sharing.
   xxxxx

   
2. rachel says:

   your love for your family is palpable with all you write and the photographs you show.

   
3. brooke bowland says:

   as always you remind me of how precious today is. thank you for the honesty that you share and the moments you allow us to be a part of.

   i believe that photo needs to be a huge enlargement over your new lounge! perfect.

   
4. Stephanie West says:

   I actually cried, reading that. You write so well.

   Are you going to be doing any online workshops? I REALLY want to do one from you. I’ve been keeping my eyes open for any information about you having one this year but I haven’t seen anything. I wrote you before but I never received a response.

   Still waiting,
   Steph

   
5. Sheye says:

   Hi Steph :)
   I don’t see you at all after a search of my inbox, I apologize if I’ve missed you.
   Explore will likely run around April and Evolve mid year. I will add you to the list for updates.
   Thankyou for your lovely words too!
   Sheye xx

   
6. Kinsay says:

   I love your couch picture. And of course the story that goes along with it. I love how your boys are looking at Ivy. You can just see how they are ‘drawn in’ by her. Very sweet.

   
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8. Forternkeri says:

   Thanks for the informative information – I enjoyed reading it! I always enjoy this blog. :) Cheers, video clips of women giving birth

   
9. Life with Kaishon says:

   Today I so wanted to read a post from you.
   I am glad I found this one.
   I cry when I come here almost always, but I also feel love.
   So much love.