A day.
A little earlier than expected.
And my heart skipped.
And I cried with surprise.
Which I truly could not believe.
And my heart sang.
And I cried with gratitude.
There was a day.
When you arrived so quietly.
You. Finally. It was you.
And my heart burst.
And I cried with happiness.
There was a day.
When I bought you a tutu.
Pink, and sparkly, of course.
And my heart danced alongside you.
And I cried with love.
There was a day.
Like any other day.
Except you left for Heaven.
And my heart broke.
And I cried. Endless tears.
There was a day.
It was yesterday.
Ivy said she wanted to ring you.
And my heart ached.
And Daddy cried.
There was a day
That should have been your birthday.
We’ll celebrate it anyway.
But our hearts mourn.
And tears, we still cry.
My darling Ava.
No matter how much I want to celebrate your birth on this day, it is so buried underneath the sorrow of what should have been.
You should be excited.
You should be here.
You should be five.
I can only imagine what you might have looked like now, what toys you would have
loved, what cake you would have wanted. Would your squeals sound older? Would your hair be longer? Would you have had a party?
I bought a pinata..a Dora one. And a tiara. And so many balloons. Be ready to catch them, won’t you?
Happy Birthday, my little Superprincess.
Iloveyousomuch.
Mumma. xx
132 shared sentiments
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Sending love and thinking of you,
Sasha
USA
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I cried for you too today, hold on strongly to everyone dear to you and live life to the fullest as much as possible, every single day. Your poems and words and remembrance are so wonderful and moving. my thoughts are with you and your family,
Heleen/toddlertoes
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oh my…my heart is so hurting for Ava, you and your family. I wish she could have life back. I wish I could help you in some way from across the oceans. I shed a few tears for Ava and am wishing her a happy birthday today.
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Real tears for you and Ava, and Dad and all-
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Happy birthday AVA!
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I’m sorry I am late Ava, Happy Birthday sweetheart.
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Happy Birthday Ava!!
Sheye,
I hope that you can still enjoy this very special day. I too will send a balloon Ava’s way. : )My sister in law just lost her son Evan less than two weeks ago in a drowning accident. It’s almost unbearable when a child is taken. I’m still so sorry for your loss.
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Happy birthday beautiful girl.
Love to you Sheye and your precious family as you celebrate a far too special day.
Thinking of you all, especially today
meganxx
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Sheye, I’ve had a few bad days recently where I’ve really been missing my mom more than ever, and your blog always brings me so much comfort. Today, I wish I was there to comfort you and your family and return the blessing you have given me through your willingness to share your story.
I’m thinking of you all today and sending you all my love. I know Ava is the most beautiful little pink angel in Heaven. And you are an angel here on Earth.
Love and peace,
Tami, Nevada, USA
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I’ve visited you here before, but today I must comment. You make me hug my children a little tighter each day. Thank you for your words. I am praying for you today.
Love, Kim
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Like so many said, we cry and ache with you and for you. Happy birthday sweet princess.
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As another mother who knows your pain, I give you my love, my empathy, and my tears. I feel as though I know you and your darling Ava, as your words resonate so vividly. You write so beautifully about grief & about love. I just feel so very sad for you. Maybe my James and your Ava will find one another in Heaven. I think that they would be fast friends. I do believe in heaven with all of my heart… & I believe most certainly that families can be together forever. We have had miraculous things happen to our family since losing our James, that have only made my beliefs stronger. May your heart feel the love of your Ava, I pray.
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So very sorry.
Happy Birthday to your baby Ava.
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I am crying too..
Your words are so beautiful..
Your heart is so beautiful..
And she is so beautiful..
But most of all..
Your hope is so beautiful..
Kia kaha – be strong.
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A day… yes indeed… I ate pink fairy floss, pink icecream, I had an excuse to change my frock TWICE (had to wear BOTH pink ones) and of course the balloons…I also cried, remembered (like I always do) and thanked her for touching my life in such a profound and beautiful way. You were on my mind all day, Sheye – your lovely man and my beautiful nephews and neice.
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Happy Birthday super princess..
Sheye, my heart aches for you and your family. Your words are so meaningful… beautiful as always.Kelly V
xxx
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For you Sheye and for the SuperPrincess’ Special Day
Dearest Mummy
When you wonder the meaning of life and love
Know that I am with you
Close your eyes and feel me kissing you
In the gentle breeze across your cheek
When you begin to doubt that you shall ever see me again
Quiet your mind and hear me
I am in the whisper of the heavens
Speaking of your love
When you lose your identity
When you question who you are and where you are going
Open your heart and see me
I am the twinkle in the stars smiling down upon you
Lighting the path for your journey
When you awaken each morning not remembering your dreams
But feeling content and serene
Know that I was with you
Filling your nights with thoughts of me
When you linger in the remnant pain
Wholeness seeming so unfamiliar
Think of me
Know that I am with you
Touching you through shared tears of a gentle friend
Easing the pain
As the sunrise illuminates the desert sky
In that breathtaking brilliance, awaken your spirit
Think of our time together, all too brief, but ever brilliant
When you were certain of us together
When you were certain of your destiny
Know that God created that moment in time
Just for us
I am with you always.
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As tears stream down my face, I try to find words that will soothe your soul….but I know, no words will ever be enough. Instead I send my love and prayers your way.
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Happy birthday sweet darling Ava. Wonderful people all over the world are thinking of you and hoping that your celebration in heaven is lovely beyond belief.
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I sit here with tears strolling down my cheeks. I just can’t imagine what you’ve gone through and continue to go through. Truly such beautiful words you write. Happy Birthday Ava.
Many hugs,
Deb
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I could never ever know how bad you feel, but I cry for you, and my heart wants to break just thinking about your loss…
Beautiful poem, and beautiful words, for a beautiful daughter…Happy birthday to you all…
I think your blog sets the feelings so right, and I come here to be reminded of how beautiful life is, and to enjoy everyday!!!
Why make fuzz out of small things…
As a mother I don’t understand how you cope, even if I know you have three more outstanding children…my deepest respect to you and your family…and to superprincess!
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Happy Birthday Sweet girl.
And Sheye, much love to you and yor family.
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Love and Prayers to you and your family Sheye, today, tomorrow and forever more
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these days are so hard. i just had a very difficult wedding anniversary without aaron for the first time a couple of days ago.
these days will always be days that wrench your heart.
thinking of you…
leslie *
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Hugs Sheye. (belatedly)
These days are difficult, aren’t they?
I’m sure Jesus is throwing Ava the ultimate princess party in heaven. (He is generous like that)
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Sheye –
I’m so sorry I missed this post and this special day. Thinking of you often and wishing you sweet memories. Love to you and your family.
Vickey
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~*HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET AVA*~
I have been thinking about you and your family Sheye, and sending you lots of lovely thoughts, warmth, and love.
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Very sweet and sad. What a beautiful little girl . . .
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Here I sit, in a puddle of tears.
Happy Birthday, Ava.
You are missed beyond words. By those who knew you best, and by those you’ve never met, yet you’ve touched so deeply. You, dear Sweetheart, you are loved and adored, always and forever.
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Pingback: Dedicated to Ava - Superprincess « Andrea Carlyle Photography
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Every time I read your blog in end up in tears, this entry is not exception. Soar Super Princess, Soar!
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I love seeing in frames, I love the beauty in the ordinary, I love my camera, I love that when I see images I hear too. I love the latelight, I love finding moments I didn’t imagine and I love creating moments I did. I love learning more every day, I love sharing what I’ve come to know, and I love making pictures pretty.
I’m so glad you stopped by. xx
The Brave Little Soul
Written by John Alessi
Not too long ago in Heaven there was a little soul who took wonder in observing the world. She especially enjoyed the love she saw there and often expressed this joy with God. One day, however, the little soul was sad, for on this day she saw suffering in the world. She approached God and sadly asked, “Why do bad things happen; why is there suffering in the world?”
God paused for a moment and replied, “Little soul, do not be sad, for the suffering you see, unlocks the love in people’s hearts.” The little soul was confused. “What do you mean,” she asked. God replied, “Have you not noticed the goodness and love that is the offspring of that suffering? Look at how people come together, drop their differences and show their love and compassion for those who suffer. All their other motivations disappear and they become motivated by love alone.”
The little soul began to understand and listened attentively as God continued, “The suffering soul unlocks the love in people’s hearts much like the sun and the rain unlock the flower within the seed. I created everyone with endless love in their heart, but unfortunately most people keep it locked up and hardly share it with anyone. They are afraid to let their love shine freely, because they are afraid of being hurt. But a suffering soul unlocks that love. I tell you this – it is the greatest miracle of all. Many souls have bravely chosen to go into the world to suffer – to unlock this love – to create this miracle – for the good of all humanity.”
Just then the little soul got a wonderful idea and could hardly contain herself. With her wings fluttering, bouncing up and down, the little soul excitedly replied, “I am brave; let me go!! I would love to go into the world and suffer so that I can unlock the goodness and love in people’s heart’s! I want to create that miracle!!”
God smiled and said, “You are a brave soul I know, and thus I will grant your request. But even though you are very brave, you will not be able to do this alone. I have known since the beginning of time that you would ask for this and so I have carefully selected many souls to care for you on your journey. Those souls will help create your miracle; however they will also share in your suffering. Two of these souls are most special and will care for you, help you and suffer along with you, far beyond the others. They have already chosen a name for you.”
God and the brave little soul shared a smile, and then embraced. In parting, God said, “Do not forget little soul that I will be with you always. Although you have agreed to bear the pain, you will do so through my strength. And if the time should come when you feel that you have suffered enough, just say the word, think the thought, and you will be healed.”
Thus at that moment the brave little soul was born into the world, and through her suffering and God’s strength, she unlocked the goodness and love in people’s hearts. For so many people dropped their differences and came together to show their love. Priorities became properly aligned. People gave from their hearts. Those that were always too busy found time. Many began new spiritual jouneys – some regained lost faith – many came back to God. Parents hugged their children tighter. Friends and family grew closer. Old friends got together and new friendships were made. Distant family reunited, and every family spent more time together. People checked a website and sent notes of encouragement. People made and brought meals to the family of the suffering. Everyone prayed. Peace and love reigned. Lives changed forever. It was good. The world was a better place. The miracle had happened.
The first time I ever read this, my thoughts immediately went to Ava. What a beautiful soul, both inside and out.
My thoughts are with you, Rosemeyers, on Ava’s Special Day.
Happy Birthday Sweetheart!