For the Love of Twingy.
Every day, we negotiate big and little things that pop up and make us miss all over again. Like every single time I see a girl Ava’s age. And when I see my three children chasing one another, squealing. And like when I dare to peek into Ava’s wardrobe…
Anyone who loves the clothing brand Oilily will nod with instant knowing when I say “Kimono Twingy”. It was the skirt. You know, that long ago sold out one that you just have to have..irrespective of cost or absolute unavailability.. hence in 2006 I went on a one woman mission to scour the entire World for it. I seriously did ring places so far away that the shop assistants did not speak English (yet magically knew enough to understand Kimono Twingy). I was possessed and I would not rest until I had that carnivale of a skirt in my hands. I just knew it was meant for Ava. For twirling in at all the birthday parties she’d attend..For overdressed trips to the supermarket. For any given event that required a two year old dressing to impress, really. I gleefully imagined other Twingy loving mothers needing to know how on Earth I found one. Yes, it was ridiculous (and so much more-so now) but oh how I yearned to own that skirt.
When I stand and look in Ava’s cupboard now, I always pause at that skirt. My eyes sting and I catch my breath and I remember just what that one item of clothing represented for me..the falling in love with this silly skirt, the endless chase and the glorious victory. It just seemed to caputre everything I loved about finally having a girl..The color, the whimsy, the twirl. My absolute love of shopping for Ava..from before she was born. How could one piece of fabric hold so many emotions and expectations? I don’t know, but it did.
While it will never be worn to the birthday parties I’d imagined, I did put it on her for our 2006 Xmas card photo..pinned to stop it falling to the floor. I could have shown the more perfect images, the Hallmark suitable ones..but I like these more.
xx
42 shared sentiments
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I’II never look at Charlotte’s twingy now, without thinking of Ava!
Love,
Jane
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No Hallmark christmas card could ever touch me as deep as your words and your pictures.
Ava looks lovely in that skirt. She was meant to wear it.
Tania
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Positive me would say ‘how lovely you have such memories, moments and physical connections to Ava’.
Sad me would say ‘how many tears would ever truly represent the full force of the ache in your heart with all that the skirt means and holds?’
Angry me says ‘how bitterly unfair that clothes hang and the angel they were intended for doesn’t get to wear them and how every ounce of your being must want to scream until there is no breath left’.
Optimistic me will finish with the true gift of ‘the skirt’ and that is -that Ava is that skirt in so many ways and she hangs in full colour every where.
I am missing. I know you know what I mean.
Love always and always,
Dxxx
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Gorgeous pics Sheye.The twingy is very Ava…too beautiful!
I remember that hunt and the victory when it was finally yours.I cant believe it was that long ago.
Much Love
Kaz
xoxo
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Hi Sheye, I’m a silent stalker of your blog. I don’t think I could put into words what I feel for you. I look at my daughter with new eyes everyday now, and I’m making a point of capturing my children in photos more often. I love your story about getting the twingy, I totally get how you can spend so much on something because you (or Ava) was meant to have it.
I think Ava would probably love to see Ivy wearing it, one day when it fits her.
Love Jo
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Ava’s Twingy is gorgeous and I love the pictures! I am so glad she got to wear it and you got to take the pictures.
I loved shopping for Jenna too! She was my excuse to indulge in everything girly. I was never much of a girly-girl but Jenna totally brought it out in me!
I agonise over all her pretty clothes too. She doesn’t have sisters and unless something miraculous happens there won’t be any more children for us. THAT, right now, is a hard thing for me to come to terms with. What am I going to do with this yearning to share the girly side of me with a little girl of my own?
I am sorry for commenting so long, and making the comment all about me. Your post touched a nerve. :-)
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:(
After Ava’s accident Sheye, I found it really hard to put that skirt on Kara ~ now whenever she wears it (and her karmen top), I think of your girl straight away. Of how beautiful she looked in it.
We have the Big singlet too ~ the one with wings. We went out to buy one when we got home from our first Queensland trip ~ Kara insisted she needed an “Ava Top”. We still have that singlet, even though it’s now tiny… Kara said she will never let me list it on ebay lol.
Love to you and your family xx
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This post took my breath away. How many ebay wars have I endured? Look at her in that skirt. It was worth every penny spent…and more.
Dana
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The skirt is beautiful♥ I remember when the green swirly Fred Bare Christmas dress sold out a couple of years ago. They were selling for hundreds on eBay. The biggest sell out though that I can recall was the ‘Pots and Pans band’ shirt by Kingsley – that sold out within hours – it was the soft grey shirt that Angelina and Brad’s baby daughter Shiloh wore on the cover of People magazine. Thanks you for the beautiful photos Sheye, Vanessa x
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Thank you I mean – not thanks you :)
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It’s a beautiful skirt and Ava looked adorable in it, it reminds me of her 7 skirt look – the girl had taste!.
((HUGS))
Liz x
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Oh lol Vanessa, the Fred Bare green retro is another story all together..Yes we had it, yes it was another tireless quest for a sold out frock and it too was so big on her I resold it at Auction Mums without Ava ever wearing it, except for one mini photo shoot!
There have been a few of these must have garments in my life!
S x
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i love the brand Oilily, back when my niece, who is 18 now, was 3-4 her mom bought that stuff and i still have some of the dresses that my girls wore as babies from there (they are now 8 and almost 7). that skirt is adorable and those photos are BEYOND priceless sheye! you both capture and break my heart each time i come here. but you also teach me and make me appreciate my life. i really think you should make a lovely little book of all these stories about ava and have it bound. i would love to buy a copy.
p.s. I am so GLAD that Ava got the chance to wear that skirt at least one time–that made me smile!
tara
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Oh Sheye
I was so moved by your post about choosing a coffin – for all that it must “hold”. The Twingy is a bit the same. It is not just an item comprising beautiful fabrics. Rather, it holds in all its folds all those memories, hopes and dreams you invested in it.How incredibly sad that Ava will not get to wear it to all those maybe-Birthady parties and store visits. But how amazingly wonderful that she DID indeed wear it – albeit just once. Even though it was too big for her – it was just the right fit for the occasion. That skirt has Ava and Christmas and the boys and Grandad all at once!
In any case – I bet it wsn’t too big if she were to put 6 other skirts underneath it! Long live the 7 skirts Rule.
Kate F
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It *is* a fabulous skirt.
I very tentatively look in Hannah’s closet and drawers for seeing the clothing and *remembering* her in each piece–the dress she wore the first day of school and saved again to wear on Flag Day because it was red, white and blue, the shorts and shirt she loved so dearly. It hurts. She’s no longer here to wear them and the pain is overwhelming. I don’t know if I’ll EVER be able to clean out her room…
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lovely little ava in her twingy resting her sweet little hand on luca’s knee and then mothering ivy. she was such an angel on earth, too…
l,
d xx
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So glad she got to wear it, Sheye. She looks gorgeous. We have that one for Lucy (one of about 6 Oilily twingys!)- it’s my favourite too.
Nicola x
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Beautiful, precious photos!
Ava looked so gorgeous in that skirt.
Thinking of you,
Love and hugs, Tabitha XX
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Sheye –
Such a beautiful thing that the places you reached to find that gorgeous skirt for your gorgeous girl are now all the places that have been touched by your sweet Ava. They are the places that have stopped here to marvel at her…the places that have learned to be better Mommy’s and enjoy the little moments that might have otherwise gone unnoticed. She is everything that skirt represents…a plethora of magnificent colors stretched over this world to paint it a brighter one. I am grateful every day to you for sharing her wonder.
Hope all is well my dear.
Krysta
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Sheye,
Again, you teach me so, so much everytime I get on and read about your sweet, baby girl. I find myself thinking about Ava in the middle of the night when I am up feeding my new little baby boy… I think about how Ava’s story has taught me to cherish every moment with him.
I look up to you as a woman and mother. You might be one of the most incredible and amazing people I will never have the opportunity to meet. However; I am so grateful for your blog and the chance that you give me to have a glimpse in on your amazing life.
Thank you so much for changing my point of view about things and helping mold me as a new mother. I have said this before, but I know you will be with your sweet baby girl again and it will be an amazing reunion.
Thank you,
Jodi
Utah, US
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Thinking of you, as always, Sheye.
One of your (five) children looks a bit older than the others, is that correct?
(Might not be the best post to mention it in, but he really looks like “one of them”) :)
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Beautiful…. like always
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Little girl’s clothes are so wonderful, aren’t they? I can’t count how many times I have gasped out loud in the middle of a clothing store, holding up an item of clothing and picturing it on Nora.
I’m certain in heaven Ava is twirling in her Kimono Twingy.
jbxo
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Oh Sheye… these are so beautiful!! they beat Hallmark any day! A beautiful skirt for an even more beautiful little girl… Sheye, Ava looks gorgeous in the skirt!! Funny how you see something & just know you have to have it!!! The Twingy was definitely Ava!
love,
Tanya xx
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Oh hon tears welled reading this one…the Twingy will always be Ava’s, along with the Smick of course.
Big love
Lea x
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Sheye,
I remember your twingy quest too. Ava just looked so divine in it and I can only imagine the emotions it holds for you now. But little girls’ clothes just are sentimental, aren’t they? When you find something that complements your princess so well it does mean a lot.I’m sure when the twingy was created they had someone just like Ava in mind to wear it, she was the perfect twingy wearer :) :) :)
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Oh Sheye, I understand your quest, I had one of them myself the other day for boots.
The Kimono is one of my very favourite Oilily prints, I can remember buying a long sleeve T in it for Kitty in an 86 when she was only a few months old, I’m still hunting for more.
Thanks for teaching me to take more pictures of my babes too. Your Christmas pic’s are priceless.Em
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For my girl, her dresses hold so much emotion for me. The ultimate in feminine. For my boy, it is his posters and toys. All things masculine.
You have taken my breath away. Danielle described the mix of emotions, that I luckily don’t understand in the way you two do. Just a glimpse of it squeezes my heart and makes me feel like I can’t breathe. I can’t imagine the full weight of it. Thinking of you.
xx
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Ah yes, *the* classic twingy! I had them for 2 of my girls and they ran so huge that my older girl’s one actually fit me! I never did wear it myself though. Too bad that current Oilily can’t live up to the glory days.
I love your blog and share your passion for shopping for girl clothes. We were lucky enough to live close to the Oilily world HQ in Holland for a few years – oh how I miss those days!
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hey sheye – where were ava’s 7 skirts from? our ashley may need some ava mojo soon for her upcoming surgery. it only seems right that those skirts would brighten the journey.
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AAAH yes the Kimono Twingy. I too has a similar quest,paid a similiarly ridiculous amount and then my gorgeous LILY hates it!!!
I still have it-can’t bare to part with it yet……..
I Love Ava in that skirt Sheye, it really looks like it was made for her.
Lots of lovexx
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Beautiful, simply beautiful!
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Well no wonder you love it…it held a perfect princess in its twirls .
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Gorgeous pictures Sheye.
The vibrant colours in the skirt reflect Ava’s beautiful personality.. It was worth all the trouble to buy it and more.Love,
Emily
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Reading your blog has shown to me what a gift I have in my daughter. I will forever look at her differently, more appreciatively. Your photography truly captures the very nature and innocence of children, and people. And it gives me the kind of tears that you can taste before you feel them hit your cheek. I wish that I could take one of your bad days for you. Thank you from the depths of my heart.
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that little skirt was created for just that moment. That is truly a skirt to treasure and it’s obvious by your post you do, thank you for sharing your heart..
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I too, remember the hunt for that skirt. And I too will always associate it with Ava. It was perfect and is now a part of one of your wonderful memories of your gorgeous daughter!
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Such a beautiful skirt, for such a beautiful girl! I can only hope one day i’ll see a post with Ivy wearing it.
Love,
Elizabeth XO
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Beautiful skirt!!!
I am on a similar quest to one day own a pettiskirt for Victoria..hopefully this one:
http://pettiskirtplace.com/kaiya_eve_cream.html
While its not uber expenisve, when you only have 1 income and 2 kids, the price is a bit too much. Maybe I can talk Granny into buying one for her? Heehee.
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I too remember being part of the search, remember how Sheye had funny names on her user id which were all a cry to help find Ava a twingy!
I’ve shed a happy tear today knowing that Ava got to wear the Twingy at least once. When Ava left, I remember being devestated, thinking she’d never gotten to wear it. A silly concern, but I knew how much you had wanted it. So I’m so glad that Ava DID get to wear it.
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Sheye I am only new to your blog and I have fallen in love with your writing and your gorgeous photos, and Ava has stolen my heart! After reading this entry last night I actually turned to ebay and bought a Kimono twingy for my little girl!
I had never heard of that skirt before then and the way you wrote about it, I just thought, why not? :)
Thankyou for sharing your gorgeous photos and your family with us all, my heart breaks for your loss and I wish there were words to make it better but there arent…
you have made me stop and hug my children more and let the things that dont matter slide though and for that I am especially grateful.
My little girl and I will be having our first Ava’s teaparty this August, I have bought pink sparkly and pretty things to make it “beauty full” and Ava will be in my thoughts that day as she has been everyday since I found your writing.
Sending many hugs and kisses up the coast to you xxx <3
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I love seeing in frames, I love the beauty in the ordinary, I love my camera, I love that when I see images I hear too. I love the latelight, I love finding moments I didn’t imagine and I love creating moments I did. I love learning more every day, I love sharing what I’ve come to know, and I love making pictures pretty.
I’m so glad you stopped by. xx
Perfect.
Ava is teaching us all so much. As are you Sheye.
I had such a long day today, I just had to stop by here for some lovelieness.
Thank you.