Holding On.
Thankyou so much. So many beautiful words…they really do make me feel supported right now.
While this is helpful in getting though each day, it also means I am sometimes a little suprised at just how hard certain moments in time can be. Some days can sneak up and steal the breath out of me. They can make my heart race and cloud my every thought. I am suprised that this day, the 3rd of February, feels so very impossible. Today holds the overwhelming desire to step back in time. I have never felt it like I do today. I have often heard people say “If only you could turn back the clock” and you know, I’ve never really considered that idea too long or hard. It’s not possible so there’s no point.
Yet today, I wish with all of my might that I could do that very thing. It feel like there is a huge clock ticking in my house, in my car, in my mind..reminding me of every moment leading up to 1pm on that day, 1 year ago. I don’t want to think about it, I’m not trying to, but the ticking won’t go away. So for the next 48 hours I will just hold on, and hold Crayton and hold the boys and Ivy and look forward to breathing again after Tuesday.
Thankyou again to every person who has gone out of their way to show us such love and support not just this week but every single day for the past year. It has been amazing and overwhelming and has made a difference to the worst year of my life. I imagine each comment left, each anecdote told, each candle lit to be a brushstroke and I can stand back a year on and see the most amazing painting..It shows such love and comfort and generosity of spirit.
Every person grieves differently but for me, the ability to share Ava with so many people, to hear so many beautiful things said of her and to feel like she really does live on in people’s minds and hearts helps me. Every single day. I am thankful.
Just a couple of things…
I have a new email address – I have already notified as many people as possible from my address book but in case I’ve missed someone, the email link here is the new one.
Ava’s memorial site may have difficulties over, ironically, the 3rd Feb – 5th Feb. The server will be down for maintenance at times so if you would have liked to light a candle, please just keep trying and if not, please still light one after the 5th..the candles lit and the comments left there mean a lot to us.
Finally, to Ava. You were, are, and always will be, my sunshine.
With much love.
45 shared sentiments
-
Bless you Sheye, Crayte and family. You are in our thoughts daily, but especially at this time.
-
Sheye, how I wish we could turn back time Sweetie, just know that you are always in my thoughts & prayers, especially at this time, big hugs to you all. xxxx
-
And while this will be the last thing on your mind today you should know that your choice to share your the spectrum of your grief and love has been a gift to so many other people.
-
I been thinking about you all week and me and my friend Sarah were talking Ava just earlier and how beautiful she was/is. I am so so so sorry.
-
all my heart’s love to help you and your family carry on.
nomayne
-
Nothing but love to you all Sheye,
Sweet Ava is always in our thoughts
xoxoxo
-
praying fervently for you and yours during this time, sheye. knowing of ava and your family has enriched my life in so many ways. thank you for sharing such a bright ray of light and love with us. we are forever changed. love you.
-
Each memory you have of Ava, every day that you can recall was filled with such joy…. but for those few days at the end. I think that is why the 3rd – 5th are so hard. There is no joy to remember, to miss. No good memories to help ease the grief.
Little girls around the world are wearing 7 skirts, or putting on lippy, or having their nails done with sparkly nail polish. Children are being taught about car safety. Parents are appreciating the small things more, slowing down to enjoy even the tiniest treasures of the day. Or keeping things in perspective. I sit here with tears streaking my face, heart torn and filled at the same time. And changed by Ava Rosemeyer. She is forever in my heart. Thank you for opening your heart to share her with me and so many others.
xx
-
Remembering your beautiful daughter and thinking of you and your family at this difficult time. Your words and photographs are such a beautiful tribute to her. Lisa, Alex., VA, USA.
-
no words…as there are none, but balloons. On the 5th…from my loves to yours…
-
Thinking about you, your family and sweet Ava.
Much love from afar x
-
You and all your family are in my thoughts and prayers at this time. *hugs*
Clara
-
Sheye… much love to you.. now and always. We are all thinking of you and holding you and Ava in our hearts.
-
My heart goes out to you and your family. Your post has moved me to tears as so many others have as well. Soozadoo is right in what she says. Sadly. Hugs.
-
It will be the 3rd here in a few hours and I will keep Ava and your family in my thoughts all day long.
-
Sheye, how ironic that the song you are my sunshine is your song for Ava. It is mine as well for James. They were just that, our sunshine that shone so bright. How ever ironic that in the song it says, “please don’t take my sunshine away”. I pray that she is still your sunshine and that you don’t allow her leaving allowing that to make her your storm. James has been my storm. My rain. My tears. I pray that someday I will be able to remember him and he will be my sunshine again. My heart aches for you this week. I cry for you, I think of you and pray for you that you will continue breathing through this incredibly difficult week.Much love
-
I have tears just running down my face right now – I think about your sweet little sunshine. So many of us look at our own little sunshines and know one reason they will always shine so bright is because of Ava. She brightens lives even today.
You continue to amaze me, Sheye. You care so much about all of us even on the saddest anniversary of your life. I know Ava’s an Angel…for her Mummy’s an angel here on earth.
I truly believe that through all the pain & sorrow you’ve endured, you have made so many of us realize how happy our little lives truly are.
I can’t tell you how much I respect and admire you. You’ve gone through so much sadness, yet you’re able to bring so much joy into our own lives.
I almost feel guilty sometimes when I think about how much I’ve been blessed. Why me? I have been given so much! What did I do to deserve all this? I think Ava would want me (and all of us) to be joyous & thankful for everything we do have. I do think of Ava a lot, especially when I’m having a ‘bad’ day.
I wrote something for you & Ava… I was reluctant to share, but I feel I owe it to you.
When the little things pile up in the way…
When I feel the monotony of everyday…
When the crying and whining just won’t ever end…
When it seems that insanity’s my only friend…
I think of another who’s far, far away…
A beautiful mother who lives day by day…
Through tragedy she’s given so much to us all…
She’s shown us to even give thanks for the small…
Little Miss Ava, SuperPrincess indeed…
Has taught us so much in the lives that we lead…
She lit up your life, and through you she still glows…
You share your stories & life so that everyone knows…
One little candle can light so many more…
Hundreds of thousands where just one was before…
Though I never did meet her, I’ll never forget…
The lives that she’s touched and the light that she lit.May God be with you and your family through what has to be the hardest time in your lives. I pray for peace and God’s Grace to be with you. I dream that someday we’ll all get to meet Ava in Heaven, and get to see her: the Angelic SuperPrincess.
-
Bless your heart and thank you for sharing your touching story. You have made a difference in my life. My prayers are with you.
-
sheye,
please just hold on.
i can’t imagine what you are going through right now. my prayers and heart are with you and your family right now and always…..i promise i will never forget ava ever, with all my heart and soul she is part of my family. thank you for sharing her with us.
hold on.
tara
-
each ‘first’ is so difficult. i am grateful that you share ava’s life with us. it is one reason i have chosen to share aaron’s life with anyone who wants to know about him.
you are all in my thoughts.
-
Oh Sheye,
The tears fall for all of you, may Ava shine all her love down on all of you.
-
Oh Sheye, all I want to do now is take you in my arms and give you a BIG Hug.
We have lit a pink candle for little darling Ava today. You and your family are always on my mindxxx
-
Thinking of you all at this time. Grief is such a horrible thing to endure and yet such good can come from it… if only we could experience the grief and the compassion that is shown to us from it without the loss…. if only.
Huge hugs, be very gentle with yourselves over the next couple of heart wrenching days.
Love, Mishy x0x0x0
-
“our joys will be deeper,
our loves will be greater,
our lives will be fuller,
because we shared your moment”Thank you sweet Ava for all you have given.
Sheye, there are no words and I can’t pretend to understand there is a reason for this. I can’t take your pain away as much as I want to. I can think of you, be here for you, I will lend you my ears, my shoulders and my heart. Sending you all my love
-
God Bless little one….
-
Thinking of you all today x
-
Sheye, I listened so intently to the words being said in Mass yesterday… listening for a word to send to you around the world..
Father spoke of the Beatitudes and how it was not to shun those who were not poor in spirit but to uplift us… to realize what is around us at all times…
You have been given this light through Ava and the rest of your family. May the next few days go so slowly as to let you breathe deep and perhaps turn back time if only in your heart.
hugs to you and your family!
-
no words…. just a big {{{HUG}}}
thinking of you alwaysVickey
-
love and prayers to you Sheye…. xo
-
love and prayers to you sheye — xoxox
-
Everytime I visit here I cry, I’ve been thinking about you all week.
I have no words, no advice, nothing I can say will help
Your little girl was gorgeous, thankyou for sharing her with us.
-
I never know what to say. Just sending my love to you all. Know that she will never be forgotten by many.
love k8
-
This is my first time to your blog and I have just read your tribute to your daughter and your acknowledgment to the day she died. How heartbreakingly awful. It is true we only have today to live, but boy, are we ever thankful we also had yesterday, so we can remember.
You have such lovely children. My thoughts are with you all.
-
:*(
No words left to say!
-
Ummm words escape me right now- I am an “avid” (for want of a better word) of your blog. I so like many others that read your your beuatiful words and viewing your amazing pictures do not even begin to pretend i know how you feel. I will honestly tell you i try to love my kids more for each day, thinking about you and your family and for that i thankyou. Our love to you and yours from mine. We have the love to give and we willingly give it to you and the beautiful angel you named AVA. Love and peace to you all- forever in our hearts from strangers you may never meet but wish you everything and morexxxxxxxxx
-
I am so very sorry for all you have lost. Ava is a beautiful girl and missing her will never be OK. Please take care and know you are loved.
-
My thoughts go to you. And today I have light a candle for Ava, and showed my Super-princess pictures on my blog, and written about Ava.I also made a link to your blog and memorialsite.
Love from Karoline in Norway
-
Sending love, support, healing and faith your way. I do not know you, but feel through your words and pictures that we’ve met before. I am sending strength your way over the next few days… my thoughts are with you.
-
Sheye,
How I wish that we were able to turn back the clock!! Your Ava is so cherished and loved. I hope this little quote brings some peace to you.The angels are always near
to those who are grieving,
to whisper to them that
their loved ones are safe
in the hand of God.The Angels’ Little Instruction Book
Much love and prayers to you,
Chesnye
-
Sheye, I heard about Ava shortly after her accident last year due to all the memorial balloon photos on flickr. I’ve read your blog on and off this past year but have never commented because I’ve never known what to say. I just wanted to let you know that I have been thinking about you and your family the last few days. I’ve posted Ava’s card on my flickr account in hopes that it will help educate parents.
I’m so sorry you lost your little girl.
~Cherron
-
Our thoughts and prayers are with you, and especially today, we send extra love and hugs that you may find some peace at such a difficult time.
-
My prayers and love are with you and all your family today Sheye.
Thinking of your Princess twirling in heaven.
Love
Justine
-
Many, many thoughts and prayers going out for Ava, you, and your family. May God and faith bring you comfort as time ticks on. My daughter is 3 and your story reminded me again to show her and tell her how much I love and cherish her EACH and EVERY day…and to always do this no matter how busy things get.
-
There are no words that can truly express how very sorry I am for you and your family. I will never forget your beautiful little Ava or the events that tragically ended her little life. I have two little girls of my own and because of what happened, I will make sure to hug and kiss them everyday, more than necessary. My heart goes out to you all. Thank you so much for sharing your story so that all parents will be more aware of how to prevent this tragedy from repeating itself in another family. May you find comfort in each other and know that there are so many people in this world that are aching for you.
Leave a Reply
I love seeing in frames, I love the beauty in the ordinary, I love my camera, I love that when I see images I hear too. I love the latelight, I love finding moments I didn’t imagine and I love creating moments I did. I love learning more every day, I love sharing what I’ve come to know, and I love making pictures pretty.
I’m so glad you stopped by. xx
Sheye ~ my eyes are streaming for you right now. If only we could all help to turn back time….
I’m just so very sorry. Please know you are thought of endlessly today, tomorrow, Tuesday and always.
xxxx