Today.
Today the boys started school.
Today we ran around like mad people
trying to get out of the house on time.
Today we bought Ivy a fancy new carseat
while she cried on my hip and
continually asked for toast.
Today I paid a hundred bills.
Or so it seemed.
Today I went to school too early for pickup
and the boys had too much cake
and I spent an hour tidying their
unbelievably messy rooms.
Today, Ava should have started school.
I
thought
of
nothing
else.
Big hugs.
And the prettiest girl in school she would have been. Your post made me cry. At work.
I’ll be thinking of you…..
Lea UK
Oh Sheye. Words fail me. *Great big hug*
you are in my thoughts. praying for your peace in the coming days.
Sorry, I have no words for you either. {{HUGS}}
love you heaps sweet girl xxoo
Just to let you know that I’m thinking of you…
Tania
I thought about Ava a ton yesterday after looking at your blog. I have no idea why it stuck with me so much…I just couldn’t get it out of my mind.
I thought about how I’m thankful I believe in an afterlife to understand at all that it might be ok, but even knowing that it’s painful and I never met her.
I can’t pretend to comprehend how many thousands of times your pain must be compared to the pricks and tears I feel when visiting your blog.
I’m so sorry you have to feel that. She is such a gorgeous little girl. I love the pictures of you and her.. especially that first one. So sweet.
Oh Sheye, I don’t even know what to say….I can’t imagine the pain you must be feeling, the sadness….I just want to give you a BIG hug right now. those photos are just so precious, a 100x a million precious…….
strength and love surround you. hold on to it.
tara
Thinking of you.
I’ll be thinking of you often and praying for you over these next several days… and I’m sure that hundreds of others will to. You & your family are so loved and often thought of in my home… and though you and I don’t know eachother, I wanted you to know. thank you so much for sharing your deepest thoughts with so many… your words are inspiring & thought-provoking. You are such an amazing woman. Keep your chin up, be strong. God bless you and your family.
Your post had me tearing, again. I am in such awe of your strength. Each Aug we celebrate a birthday of one of our children and we also remember her twin sister who died just after birth.
Your words are just as beautiful as your pictures and family.
I am so sad for you Sheye. Days like this must be hardest of all when you can’t stop thinking of what might have been.
Love to you and your beautiful family over the next few days. I will be thinking of you and praying for you over the coming week.
x
It’s a hard, hard week. We are one more day way from waking up and doing as you’ve done.
We were so excited for the potential we saw in Isabelle, as I know you saw in Ava.
Two sweet souls, two special days, two very big ‘if only’.
I know Ava would have looked beautiful, would captured the hearts of school friends and teachers alike. It’s not right, it’s not fair.
Sending my love to you, today and every day.
Dxxxx
Thinking of you today, as always, and wishing peace for you.
Thinking of you today ((HUGS))
thinking of you… and hugging my little boy a little tighter.
y’all are in my thoughts…
::hugs::
Though I don’t know you, your story has touched me deeply. Thank you for sharing Ava with the rest of the world. I will keep you in my prayers over the next few days.
Love,
Chesnye
Oh Darling I am so sorry!
What a difficult day for you.
You got through it!
x
Kym
Thinking of you and your family everday Sheye, but especially around this time.
Hugs
Tara and Eliza
beautifully written, eloquently said and my heart ache for you.
(((HUGS))) from across the globe
Oh Sheye – I can’t imagine what you are feeling as I have many tears rolling down my cheeks. My heart hurts for you. To look at her in all her beauty just breaks my heart to pieces. You are so lucky that you got to be her Mummy. As always,I wish I had something profound to say, but I’m not sure words would fill what you are feeling. So many hugs sent to you and your family today and every day Sheye…
Krysta
No words Sheye – but please know you and your family are in my thoughts – Janelle xx
:(
It’s not right. It’s not fair. Like many, I just cannot think of anything adequate to say. Just that I am constantly thinking of you. xxx
Hugs for you. Belle would be starting Kindy tomorrow and i plan to be there to watch the kindie kids go in and Danielle’s hand if she needs me to and I will thinking holding yours in spirit.
Shayne xxx
Sheye, words are so hard. Today I thought of Ava going to school, and the day here is black and over-cast, so there was a promise of rain from above and then nothing.
It made me think of all the things
we think we are “promised” in life. It made me teary to think of Ava and her promises.
I washed the beautiful shiny pot her camilia lives in, and I washed the path, and the window, and now it looks so pretty and clean. Maybe if she is flying in our garden today she will stop and have a look.
I have a prayer for you and your family Sheye.
Anna
xx
Sheye, my heart aches for you. You and your family are in thoughts and prayers.
she will always be there…right by your side.
think of you and ava so much. reminds me to be thankful every day.
g -
she will always be there…right by your side.
i think of you and ava so much. you help to remind me to be thankful for every day.
g -
I just don’t know what to say. I hope you allow yourself to cry and scream and kick and be angry. That’s how I feel for you at this moment. It just doesn’t seem at all fair.
All my love,
Sara
Sheye, big hugs sweetie, keeping you in my thoughts & prayers. xxxx
My heart is so heavy right now. I send you much love, and hugs.
I’m so sorry…
jbxo
Sheye, my thoughts are with you as the coming days approach. I was just wondering if you could tell me the song/artist on your blogspot. I love it and it reminds me of you…even though we have never met, my thoughts are with you often.
I found your blog today and I’ve read it completely. I can’t bring myself to close the window. Your story is sad, brave, and touching. Thank you for putting yourself out there, I’m just another person your sweet Ava has touched. Just remember she was, is, and ALWAYS will be, your little girl! I believe it to my core!
Oh Sheye,
I have no idea of words that will help.
How can anything?
Words seem so empty yet they are all we have.
I cried with you that is all I can say, like many others I cried with you.
((((HUGS))))
Trudi
Lots more love to you from me. That is all I can do. That makes me sad.
k8
my tears just won’t stop flowing tonight. I’m trying to let that be OK. There is a lesson for all of us in Ava’s passing. if only it were easier to understand. You are not alone with your grief Sheye, if only that would help…
Thinking so much of you
yes, she would’ve been the prettiest girl in the whole school wouldn’t she. Tears are trickling down my cheeks. My heart just broke a little more for you and your family.
It is so not fair Sheye but even saying that doesnt seem enough
Thinking of you so much and wishing it wasnt this way
Luv
Kaz
xox
this one made me cry.
i’m so sorry.
that last photo of you and her…
breathtaking.
Sheye, I cried when I saw the kids at school yesterday. i thought of Ava then immediately went through those same thoughts.
It seems to be the smallest and littlest of tasks that make all of this so very difficult.
May the light of Ava shine brightly upon you hon when you try and get some sleep.
Much love
Kat
xxxxxxx
Dear Sheye,
I thought of Ava the other day and wondered if she would have been starting school this year.
It is so hard to deal with the ‘if onlys’. This was a very big bump in the road, there will be others, but you just got through one of the biggest.
My boy would have been 10 on the 28th Feb this year. This will be a hard birthday for us – double digits mean so much! :)
Thinking of you and your princess.
Justine
Hi, I found your blog a few months ago and read about Ava. As a mom my heart just ached. I have 2 little girls and after reading your story I couldn’t stop crying. I’m glad you were able to capture pictures of your beautiful girl. I hope you didn’t mind me leaving a message.
http://wood-family01.blogspot.com