The firefly has disappeared.
36 shared sentiments
-
Your baby girl would be kissing your nose without you knowing for sure – except for that pain in your heart. A million fireflys cannot light a dark day I know. x
-
What you write of in this post speaks directly to my heart. I understand completely how your mind can never grasp fully how a seemingly ordinary, ‘perfect day’ could have been turned upside-down without warning, and in so-doing, replaced the life you once knew with something so different. I still have days, moments and instances where I feel like I am living in a ‘dream’…nearly 6 years after my tragedy struck. Life is forever changed. I hope and pray that you will keep pressing forward, seeking Joy, and searching for glimpses of fireflies every step of the way. In the meantime, please know that you are not alone in your sorrow, your grief, your longing to make sense out of something that never will. I will keep you in my prayers. And I hope that Ava will continue to inspire you to seek beauty and happiness in life- as she was the epitome of both. All my best to you, Sheye & family.
-
My brother died two years ago this September 20th. In the days, weeks and months after, I woke with questions, went through the day with questions and went to bed asking why? I would look at other people and think… Why our family and not yours? For my mother…. how can something so horrible happen to such a genuinely good, unselfish, giving person. We got a wrong number call at 3 a.m. one morning and it took me two hours to get back to sleep. A 3 a.m. phone call never brings good news and the ringing instantly filled me with terror. There is a fear lurking just under the surface always, that something might happen to my own children and how could I bear the burden I see my mother carrying? I have good days, good moments, good weeks… and then I am back in that hole again where it seems no light can penetrate and I can’t find any joy or anyway out and that God has forgotten me…. and then it gets better again… But I know the path my mother walks is so much harder than mine, my sister’s or my brother’s… and that makes it hard, too.
Sorry to be so long here, but your words really connected with me.
-
Your post and pictures really made me cry. I’m just so sorry, Sheye.
-
I believe it was Ava snuggled with you. I feel so much of what you are saying and don’t think I will ever understand they why’s as there just isn’t any good enough to explain the loss of a child. I still struggle at times with the worry of bad things happening, as they can happen to us, they don’t discriminate. A huge loss of innocence.
With tears in my eyes I am sending you so much love and light Sheye.
-
Sheye,
Reality hurts so much. Remember we are here for you whenever you call
V xx
-
Sheye, even though we don’t know each other it kills me that your heart is breaking. I believe Ava was snuggling with you.
I do love a puppet show. How cute!
We are all here for you.
Shayne
-
Sweets, I havn’t been around to keep in touch as much as I would have liked to but need to say that,
I’ve come back to this place that has truly become so vibrant and colourful and full of wonderful and heartbreaking things to read all in one.
You have come so far babe, you really truly have.
I have a smile upon my face and then in an instant I am brought to tears by your words.
You know myself and my family always have you and your gorgeous family in our thoughts
Love you lots
Ebz xoxo
-
I been trying to find the right words but I really dont have any. There is nothing I can do to bring you any comfort apart from pray that you will see those fireflies again!
-
I found this in another blog, I hope it helps a bit:
“There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition and of unspeakable love”.
-Washington Irving
-
I’m just so sad for you. I always seem to dissolve into puddles after visiting your blog with posts regarding your precious Ava. I can’t imagine life after losing a child, and my heart just aches reading your words. I’m so truly sorry for your loss; I hope God brings another firefly your way soon. Praying for you.
-
I wish I knew just what to say.
From one mother to another, my heart aches for you. Tonight I will pray specifically for a much more bearable day tomorrow, for her still to be on your lap, but for it to be a little easier. xo
-
Sheye – I posted earlier…but it didn’t show up for some reason. All I can say is how terribly sorry I am for all of your pain and sadness. If there was anything I could do to take it away, or make it better – I’d do it in a heartbeat. I too can’t imagine losing one of my boys – I don’t know that I could ever go on. I think you’re truly an inspiration to so many people, and we all just have grown to love you so much. I too will say an extra prayer for you all tonight, that tomorrow is just a little easier day for you. With huge hugs,
laureen
-
Sheye – I wish I had some words to help you. I did think of your super princess this evening as the sky here was pink and there was a beautiful rainbow. Big Hugs to you and your family – Janelle
-
Hey, I think those photos are so happy and fun.. they so easily fit in with the photos you have been posting of late with just as much happiness. I think the spirit of Ava has been around you this whole time and that’s how you’ve been able to cope. As long as you know you’ll have dark days, those fireflys have got such wonderful places to be in between visiting us here on earth, but they will always be back. Maybe she just wants to make sure you still miss her big time :) All super princess want to be the centre of attention.
I made a wish at the Trevi Fountain for you & your family, I hope it starts sprinkling its magic faery dust on you soon! xx
-
You have such an eloquent way with words. I’m sitting here with goose bumps after reading your post – and my heart grieves for you and your family. I’ve been following your blog since I learned of Ava’s accident and I have thought about you often. I have a little girl almost the same age as Ava and so much of what you say about Ava reminds me of my little one. I can’t begin to comprehend what you are going through but I admire your strength and openness about it. I hope you find joy and peace and that you will continue to share your beautiful words with us. I wish the firefly would come back for you – I truly do.
-
Sheye.. I wish I could take away your pain.. I wish I could give you your sweet Ava back.. I do know she is with you all.. watching, playing, Loving you..forever..
-
I read your title Sheye and my whole body just went limp. I am just so sorry.
There are people who never met Ava, people who met her for a short time and people who were lucky enough to know her well ~ every single one of us hurts for her loss but to even TRY to imagine what you and Crayton are going through is close to impossible.
I just hope that when you have these days, you at least know there are so many people who want to do nothing but hold your hand to help you through it.
I just wish I could do something for you Sheye.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
-
i’m just so sorry for you sheye.
for you all.
-
Sheye,
What beautiful photos of your little ones. I am so sorry for your dreadful loss. I can’t imagine how you must feel. May the memories of your happy times see you through the hard ones.
x
-
Oh Sheye, my heart is still aching for you and Crayton.
Not a day goes by where I don’t think of Ava in some way. Be it when Angelina comes into my room and asks me for some of my lipstick, or when Sienna clings to my side like a shaddow asking me endless questions.
Lots of love, sylvia xx
-
Oh Sheye, big hugs to you all xx
-
Sheye-
You don’t know me … I found your site a while back through other photographers. I just wanted to say that I am so very sorry for your loss and that I wish I could give you a great big hug! You are a strong and insightful woman – you will make it through this and find a way to move forward while never forgetting.
Much Love
Vickey
-
XXXXXXX
-
Sheye,
The pictures of the kids are so sweet and beautiful! May the love and memories within your hearts help carry and sooth you and your family through these difficult times xx
-
Sheye,
It is so unfair.I wish with all of my heart that i could take your pain away.No words are ever enough
Always in my thoughts
Much Love
Kaz
xoxoxo
-
You brought tears to my eyes, Sheye. Of course she is walking with you….when she’s not playing in Heaven with all the other gorgeous little angels!
-
I don’t know you but a friend posted on her blog about your post. I can not imagine the pain you must feel day to day. AFter losing my mother, I have such empathy for parents who lose a child. It must feel a lot like losing a limb. You can go on with day to day life, going through the motions, but you always see that something is missing, something is not right. I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure your little Ava is very close to you still.
-
Sheye, it is still so early days hon.. The firefly IS still there ~ you are blinded by your tears at the moment sweetie :o( Little Ava is still there holding your hand through your journey… ((((((BIG HUG))))))
Jodie xxxxxxx
-
Sheye – I also wish I had words that would help. I don’t but do know that you and Crayton and the boys and Ivy are so often in my thoughts.
Huge hugs
Kate
-
Oh Sheye- I just love the image of your sweet Ava being snuggled in your lap. It just makes my heart stop. I’m so sorry for all of this. I know she surrounds you so much of the time, staying to comfort you, to let you know she’s okay and hoping that you are, too.
xoxo
-
Hi Sheye – I have never met you, but I stumbled upon your blog somehow last week after uploading my pics to flickr and discovering Ava’s balloon page. I just fell in love with your amazing pictures…especially the pictures of beautiful Miss Ava! I read her story and I literally sat at my computer for an hour just sobbing. Ava’s little angelic face kept popping into my head and I knew I wouldn’t be at peace until I could send her some pink balloons of my own. I realize it may be a little late, but I thought a little surprise for Ava would be wonderful. I apologize, I am new to this all so I am not sure how to upload the pics for you, but they are on my blog site at: http://www.queenofcapture.blogspot.com. I hope you enjoy them. Please know that Ava and your family have been added to my prayer list. May God bless all of you! …and thank you for sharing your beautiful pics…you are truly amazing! ~ Krysta Manthe
-
Its 530 am in NYC and Im sitting here as I have been for over and hour reading your story again with my heart breaking . Im still unsure as to how I can feel such pain for somebody I never knew but I hurt so much for you and your beautiful princess I cant get the tears to stop . Your words bring Ava into my home and into my heart …her gorgeous eyes and cheeky smile just speak to me . Your pain is so deep and so real I can feel it halfway around the world ……..I think of Your super Princess all the time …..Im a better mother and a better person because of her and you for telling your story ………Ava is with you ….she hasnt gone anywhere and she wont ….she will always walk with you ….always flit about sending you little crypic messages …….alot of people I know have found comfort in the way that John Edwards describes death and how we have to learn to look for those messages …….I hope if you read him it can bring you some small measure of comfort .
HUgs and prayers
Sue from NYC
-
I forgot to mention that Im going to post Avas rule on my blog to help spread the word .
http://www.suemonster.typepad.com
Ava will help save the lives of many children and that is gift beyond measure .
Hugs,
Sue
-
hi sheye,
you don’t know me but i live a not that far from you
i heard your story on the news and then saw many photographers i was familiar with sending out their support
i thought of contacting you but felt it was probably just another unknown person sending wishes and thought i’d leave you have some peace
i stop by your blog from time to time to see how you and your family are
this piece you wrote just compelled me to write to you and say that you exude beauty and courage – your words and your thoughts speak such heart aching truth and beauty
little things – big impactwishing you peace and happiness
Leave a Reply
I love seeing in frames, I love the beauty in the ordinary, I love my camera, I love that when I see images I hear too. I love the latelight, I love finding moments I didn’t imagine and I love creating moments I did. I love learning more every day, I love sharing what I’ve come to know, and I love making pictures pretty.
I’m so glad you stopped by. xx
Oh Sheye, just reading your title of this post took my breath away and the tears started to flow…. I so wish there was something anyone could do to take some of this pain away… That firefly will return, I know it will, your divine kids, hubby and friends will always be here….
Sar xxoo (MSF)