Tuesday, June 26, 2007

For James..


Happy Birthday little one. I’m sorry it was raining here so I only got a few photos for your Mummy. May your day today be even more magical than usual. xxx
Michelle, you have all been in my thoughts as today, on the other side of the World, arrives. We both know there are no words.

With love xxx

Posted in Uncategorized by Sheye at 7:30 AM 10 comments »
Monday, June 25, 2007

A few of my favourite things.

In the middle of a completely gloomy morning, the sun popped out for a moment, giving us the most beautiful lighting on our deck. It’s only a photo opportunity that would see me venture out into the cold but I got to capture the sun chime, as I call it, looking so very pretty. Ava loved it a little too much and disconnected the sun from the chime so it’s extra special now :)

Carrie sent me a little gift in the form of a texture image so I’ve been trying it out on the odd thing – I quite like it on these two. As you can see, I love pinecones and often get the boys to go hunting for them to put around the place…


And just a hibiscus in Grandad’s garden recently…So pink, Ava would have snaffled it as soon as it arrived. :)

Posted in Uncategorized by Sheye at 7:10 PM 5 comments »
Monday, June 25, 2007

A special request for a special family.

I mentioned about sometimes feeling at the bottom of a hole..what I forgot to say is that sometimes the notes come from beautiful people who are in their own holes themselves – yet they still manage to get a note to me. One of those friends said it’s to some degree how you are as a person before you lose a child that dictates how you will pull through afterwards. I totally agree and I have to say to those people who give so selflessly even with their own immense sorrow, you must have been truly beautiful before and it still shines through now. xx

I’m asking a special favour to everyone today. One of Ava’s little friends in Heaven, James Krainich, would be turning three today, June 26. If you’re able to send three balloons skyward for James, it would mean a lot to his family. If you’d like to take a photo and email it to me at srosemey@bigpond.net.au I will forward it to Michelle. Having experienced first hand the beauty and comfort in seeing people all around the World releasing balloons for Ava, I know how special this would be for James’ family. It’s so important for us Mummys (and Daddys) to feel that our little ones are never forgotten. Jo, Michelle and Spencer, we are thinking of you so much today and know that Ava will help James celebrate. The rainbows are his today. :)

With much love.

Posted in Uncategorized by Sheye at 5:21 PM 6 comments »
Sunday, June 24, 2007

It’s Kate’s fault.





















Because if Kate didn’t send me pretty spotty ribbon then I’m sure I’d have stayed with the carousel at least a week or two longer :p

No, actually the reason I’ve changed my header is that it’s dawned on me that I tend to run with certain themes for my site/blog and then get sick of them quite quickly. (not one word, Carrie. :p) Because Ava’s illustrations mean so much to me, I can’t bear to think that I’d ever tire of looking at them so to keep them extra precious, I’ve decided to go with something else. Hope you like it :)

I wanted to say thankyou so much to everyone who’s commented and emailed me since my last post – in those moments it makes me imagine I’m at the bottom of a dark hole and little notes are dropping down to me. They don’t pull me out of the hole but they do make a teeny bit more bearable being there. I’m so grateful.

Well it’s been an uneventful week, apart from Macey losing his first tooth (and his Daddy pitching it down the sink by mistake…shhh) and the boys beginning school holidays on Friday. We’ve already done the movies, the park and pizza night. Are we there yet? :p

Here is Missy Ivy looking like a big girl with her piggytail and look of serious concentration, taken today.

With love..


Posted in Uncategorized by Sheye at 1:27 AM 20 comments »
Wednesday, June 20, 2007

The firefly has disappeared.


I’m thinking I should write a post about how cold it is, because it really is freezing here tonight. And that gorgeous Kate sent me the most beautiful spools of ribbon, red with white polkadots and it made me say “Oh” out loud when I opened the little noodle box she sent them in. I could talk about Luca’s puppet show at school today – it was the cutest thing and he was the narrator..

But what I’m really thinking about is how today, and yesterday, have been very difficult days. I know they don’t go on like that and tomorrow might be much more bearable but for now I’m just drowning in missing and sadness. It seems as though we’re finding it harder by the day to believe Ava is not here and to try and understand how we lost her. On such a normal day. Doing such normal things. How could that happen? It feels as though it will never make sense and that it is so wrong and that we will never know what true happiness feels like again.
There is so much that goes with life after losing a child that you don’t realise. The fear in knowing that even though we truly adored Ava and put in place so many things to keep our kids safe, we still lost her. Knowing that fate can and does step in and is indiscrimate and, at times, so very unfair. That just because we have had more anguish and heartache than we’re sometimes able to bear doesn’t mean we won’t have any more for the rest of our lives. The panic we experience each time the school rings or when one of the kids doesn’t answer the first time we call out to them. We live with the constant fear that “normal” days can turn into nightmares. It really is a different World we walk in.
Crayton says that some moments are particularly hard because Ava is walking beside us at those times. I think, because I went to a puppet show, and because I was playing with pretty ribbon and seeing as it was extra cold, she must have been snuggled in my lap today.
xxxxx
Posted in Ava by Sheye at 5:15 AM 36 comments »